Ah please no "witty" comment about her mugshot, please.

This is why I never leave the house without a raw, 4-lb. beef roast and a can of bear spray, y'all.

So glad to see this column back! I really look forward to it every week.

What's happening with his pants? I thought at first they were patterned tights.

So... you're saying it's not a country?

Teenagers LOVE money. They are, in fact, obsessed with receiving money. This has been my experience.

This will probably be my last post about L here. Went to Boston last week for a conference. To tell the truth, it fell at the worst possible time because it was between interviews out of state and upcoming exams for my students. I was running on empty the entire week. But it wasn't until I showed up in Boston to…

No, I don't think anyone knows. I'm kind of wondering if you even know what it is you're getting at.

I think a lot of people weren't aware that the dismiss button still existed, or hadn't found it in nukinja, as it is hidden now. Thank you for posting this as I had been thinking of posting something similar. I have found the discourse on Jez to be horrid on a few occasions since the switch, and I think it's because…

First of all, hugs. I can't claim to know what this feels like, but I am sending my warmth your way.

Hey everybody! Since the NuKinja takeover many of the trolls have slipped through. I've made several comments across Gawker Media about this, but it is worth repeating:

Meow meow meow mowwow meow.

Once I was helping a friend build a storage shed, because we were feeling like industrious gays. During a particularly intense few moments (read copious amounts of swearing), I had butt dialed the CEO of my company.

What I want to know is who decided that there needs to be a stupid store for everything. Smelly candles? Own store! Shitty jewelry that'll turn your skin green in an hour! Here, take three! Overpriced "supplements"? Well, we have one for bulky men and one for everyone else! Stores that just sell tools, or furniture,…

I insulted Prince...and he liked it. Short version - We were at one of his concerts that was a fundraiser for some charity. The venue held 30,000 people but only 5000 tickets were offered for sale. For some reason, Prince and the band arrived two hours late. (Unknown to us, the air traffic control system at the…

I've told this story a million times and I'm 100% sure I've told it on Jezebel, but it's one of my favorite stories (and I'm a storyteller by nature):
I was 15-16 years old and on a study abroad trip to Switzerland/Italy. I was in Florence and my host family wanted to go to the top of some tall medieval building,…

It makes me happy to know that Jason Bateman is a nice person in real life. And I believe you about Armisen 200%.

One time at LAX I overheard Mitch Albom having an argument with Dr. Phil on the phone. He couldn't see me because I was sitting on the floor to use an outlet on the other side of the counter in an empty gate. I couldn't really tell/ don't really remember what the disagreement was about. Someone had upset someone…

Your Manson story sounds creepy as shit, man. I'm pretty sure you were supposed to be sacrificed.

That actually does win for weirdest, hands down.