Our family has a long standing tradition that any celebration involving cards, the card must be totally inappropriate, addressed to someone else, and signed by someone else.

when i was in high school i was a last-minute fill-in for our school’s delegation to Model UN. i had done literally zero research and knew nothing about anything. i was supposed to be North Korea’s representative to the Nuclear Arms & Armaments Committee and all i did was sit in the back and text a cute boy from a…

I honestly wish we could make a backup White House and Fox News sound stage and just transport them all there. They can make up successes to tell to their friends at Fox, Fox will report it back to them as actual news, and then they can watch it and report back to Fox News about the great press all their achievements…

An entire government saying they accidentally double-booked a hair cutting appointment and that they were so sorry would be a most deliciously British way of telling him to fuck off

There was a vegan restaurant that imposed a code of silence in Greenpoint, Brooklyn (of course). Sadly it failed. This is an old article that describes it when it was open.

I see “economic anxiety” is still prevalent in white America despite the election of Donald Trump. Interesting.

He should’ve listened

“MSN reports that Botha fired his rifle on the charging cows, but a fourth swept in and surprised him from the side.”

Right cheers thanks a lot, darling.

spent a ridiculous sum of money on anti-aging products because the passage of time is irrelevant

Shattered my ankle a few years back and was amazed by the lovely teens of the greater Boston area. Who freakin’ knew?!?

I agree: the polite teens of NYC are absolute treasures and many still have that old-school chivalry thing down that can be really sweet.

I’ve gotten at least two dudes to give up their seat to people standing with canes using nothing but a wordless, unrelenting, laser-focused stinkeye — I glare at them until they notice and then incredulously shift my eyes to the cane, and then back to the seat person, then back to the cane, until the seat person is…

Please tell me you mumbled non-stop under your breath. Shitty teens/hipster 20 somethings are so self unaware, the staring alone won’t always do the trick.

You should have gotten super uncomfortably close to those in the #2 category, like to the point where your pregnant belly was blocking their view of whatever device they were playing on.

I always find it ironic that the people who make NYC uncivilized, cold and anonymous are people who aren’t even from the city. New Yorkers might not smile or have time to say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ and walk like their motherfuckin’ house is on fire, but they look out for each other. Smug NYU grads living off the L…

Only tangentially related, but one thing I absolutely cannot stand is when the MTA places advertising signage in the cars to tell us what a great job they’re doing. Even if it were true (which it most certainly is not), why the hell are they wasting money and potential ad space revenue tooting their own horn in this…

Well, we already know how the Nixon Presidential Library covered it: