Because if it’s around, I’ll eat it. I share a KIND bar sometimes with my assistant, and that’s great because then you have half of the calories.

This is gonna sound insensitive but I honestly have NO desire or wish for all these reboots. Gilmore Girls, Full House, X files...the talk of Friends. There is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much good TV out there to waste time on what Emma is doing in college. Who the fuck cares?

The sweet taste of victory might comfort you. Still, the footage would be haunting, they might actually choose not to watch it until the relationship is already in trouble.

That Stevie Wonder isn’t actually blind.

Next time I see a guy in cargo pants I’m going to force him to build me a house. I mean, walking around looking all probably-owns-a-hammer...what did he think would happen? #CarpenterLookingAssBitch.

I am confused. Why would I force a person to play basketball with me if he/she was dressed like a basketball player? Does that happen? Forced basketballery?

personally i’d disagree with the whole ‘hot’ thing

This is why people don't like white people.

I’d say that part of your perception is just going to be based on what sites you visit. Jezebel has a clear preference, and between that and the large number of commentators who are interested in picking a fight in any Jez article, the comments section here can get a lot nastier than it might elsewhere. There are a…

The 1980s glamour shot for fake doctors?

i can’t believe i had to scroll SO FAR DOWNTHREAD to find someone talking about this. (i’m a grey lol)

I’m really sad that Paul McCartney tried to get in to Tyga’s afterparty in the first place.

I’m enjoying every second of this ridiculousness. I want more Stassi and much less of Lala and James, both of whom are like listening to babies argue about who has the biggest graham cracker at snack time.

honestly WHAT ARE THE CHANCES they finally found another use for this wig

There’s two!

Or watch Butters for the Rock’s balls?

PROS-TI-TU-TION BORE. Yawn. 2.0=2.NO