I want to see Moms going out and getting seriously fucked up - I'm talking uppers, downers, zoomers, laughers, speed, whiz, ket, methedrine, methadone, methamphetamine, methylenedioxymethamphetamine, black tar heroin, jenkem, poppers, nitrous, SUCKING, FUCKING, pingers, mystery rails, speedballs, stomach poppers, and…

I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.

Seeing the outrage over Shkreli makes me so grateful to live in a country with universal healthcare.

[JOHNNY walks into the Cobra Kai dojo, which is decrepit and abandoned but otherwise unchanged]

The Karate Adult

Well, I don't like to blow my own horn…

So what actually happened is that Angelina Jolie likes to go into slum schools to torment children with cash, then when she got caught she had to make up an entire movie scenario on the spot so that people wouldn't realise that she just does this for fun. What a twisted lady. I don't know why she found this story so…

Someone was on here posting comments and ignoring questions he couldn't answer. So yeah, he's a bullshit artist. Does that offend you yeah?

No answer, how surprising. Another bitter little bullshit artist.

Say the line, Nate!

(Trump falls into wet, smelly garbage, decides to stay there until he dies)

Because the private sector and individuals are actually accountable for their actions.

What was "there" exactly?

How does a man who plays that much golf maintain that figure?

It's genuinely good to see that he at least has some idea of what an asshole everyone thinks he is.

Oh come on, does Russia really need another state-owned news channel?

Excuse me, but "paradigm"? Isn't that just a buzzword that dumb people use to sound important?

That's good because for the last few days I've just been standing around asking "where's Moochie?"

Clint, obviously

Learn to rise above it, like Bhudda.