He'll be all like "oh, m'eyes".

That's not what "shitposting" means, despite what the Vice headline about this exact same story says.

Please, let's try and be a little more mature about our political choices. Let's wait until Jumanji comes out before we make that call.

MOOCHIE
DIED
ON
THE
WAY
BACK
TO
HIS
HOME
PLANET

- Donald Trump

SNAP

The real reason the tour's been cancelled is that he's been offered a job as communications director for the White House.

R. Kelly has never let being "too old" for certain people stop him from doing anything before.

I was for a while. I have tens of thousands of words worth of notes for various projects on my phone. It's an addiction.

My phone frequently changes the word "be" to "Ben", and as a result of my frequently typing the name "Dos Passos", it now occasionally changes the word "did" to "Dos". It's ducking shot.

Kesha Around The World Vol.1: Afghanistan - Burundi

Meter 2020

No bucket. No bucket. You're the bucket!

Tetris is merely a Soviet recruitment tool.

This leaves a vacancy for Pickle to officially join the administration.

I don't know about all y'all motherfuckers, but if I'm not shooting something or stabbing something it's just not a video game.

This is disappointing because for years I've been calling her "Kay ee dollar symbol hah".

No! I said… stick… team, you know, stick team! Stickball! Go away, leave me alone!

I'm gonna watch this while I fondle my sweaters.

No way, you gotta buy me dinner first