Oh what's not to understand? You play with six or eight decks. A hand consisting of a 2 and a 3 is worth more than a 7 and an 8. The dealer deals out of a shoe. Some players follow the cockroach road even though it leads nowhere. What's not to understand?

I remember sitting in the cinema at my first Bond film, and just feeling like "hey! I'm watching a new Bond film! At the cinema!" I was so excited.

Tomorrow Never Dies was fairly low stakes, but it did have some incredible casting. Vincent Schiavelli as an artisanal assassin? Fuggedaboutit!

I don't like diamonds. They're coarse, and rough, and irritating, and they get everywhere.

Diamonds Are Forever is terrible, but it gets points for two things: firstly, it's Sean Connery basically playing Bond as a cantankerous Scotsman, and secondly it's one of the campiest films in the series. It has a weird, proto-Fear and Loathing vibe.

There's a multitude of assholes
And they're playing with my healthcare

Copenhagen probably has the greatest number of superb restaurants per square mile of any city in the world. Of those, Kjøbenhavn (near Amalienborg) is one of the best. Simple, delicious Nordic cuisine. I can't do justice to it in words.

John McCain must be an angel, because he's playing with my heart.

As we say where I come from, naw it didnae.

Die Another Day is easily the worst Bond movie, and probably one of the worst movies of the decade. It's a real stinkeroo.

Running Scared is a surprisingly good movie, really nasty, and it also features one of the creepiest characters ever in Lester the Pimp.

Vaginal Modification & Augmentation. We're talkin' lasers, surround sound, Corinthian leather, you name it.

What if everything you thought you knew about No Country For Old Men… was right?

Let me just find that 'puking while shitting while also looking really bored' emoji.

He could take or leave it if he pleased.

Did you hear about the time Alan Alda saw a baby that looked like a chicken?

Yeasht

That's a crepe joke.

Which is almost "can I use it to snort Coke?"

I just don't trust anything that manages to do more lean than I do.