It would be much harder to run through the entire gallery if the tourists weren't all clumped in that one area.

The crowd around it is half the attraction, as awful as that is to say. It's like Pisa - the Leaning Tower is in one of the most beautiful architectural spots in Italy, but it's surrounded by hundreds of idiots all doing that identical forced-perspective 'I'm holding it up!' pose.

Mine says Mario Batali lured Jim Gaffigan and his wife to his home, turned them into soup and fed them to his unsuspecting guests.

It's called a monocle and I'll have you know it's very fashionable in the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

He made them into Jimestrone and Cream of Jeannie.

The Fandango…
It has begun.

That would have captured the attention of that crucial "the boys" demographic.

I can't wait for this to - oh it came out in 1990? With Tim Curry in the lead role? Never mind.

Batman! I mean Pennywise!

Pfft. I'm a purist. The Simpsons lost its way halfway through the first Tracey Ullman short.

I don't like Frank Stallone. He's coarse and rough and irritating and he gets everywhere.

In all fairness though,

Careful with that head-bashing - you'll end up liking his music.

Don't underestimate Kid Rock's intellect, y'all. This is the man who rhymed the word "things" with the word "things" in the chorus of his biggest hit.

No puppet. No puppet. You're the puppet!

He looks like someone melted Vince Neil with a giant magnifying glass.

Fun trivia quiz to distract us from the eschatological mayhem that is this year of our Lord 2017: which was the last good 'musical guest star' Simpsons episode?

Don't be alarmed. All we need to do is encourage Insane Clown Posse to run against him and we'll split the vote.

Kicking 15,000 servicemen and women out of the military for no practical reason whatsoever is not only deeply unjust to those who will lose their jobs, it will also put the lives of those who remain at risk.

Yeah true dat