In Texas, Pickups and SUVs are becoming the de facto police vehicles.

I have no idea what this comment is about. 

I've tossed someone's bag off a train. He may have been in his rights to sit in a handicapped designated seat, but his briefcase wasn't. A woman who looked about 19 months pregnant asked him to move it. He refused. So the next time we were at a station I threw it out the door.

Toured it last summer... was accompanied by a mate who served on her during Korea.

Really awe inspiring.

Drew, it’s so great to have you ba....WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DISSING THE RAMS THOWBACKS?!??!

We went to a frozen custard stand after our wedding - their policy is, you show up dressed in formals for a wedding, you get a free concrete! :) (our wedding photographer tipped us off to this one, and I was like “hell yes”, especially for a July wedding)

I would wear this to a formal event 

The amount of bass on this record is equal to the amount of humanity in the Republican party.

Sad thing is that a lot of these voters who can no longer claim their state taxes are in blue states that didn’t go to Trump, so they won’t matter anyway.  Plus, Trump will buy them back with more racism. The exchange rate on racism is fantastic.

What if my husband and I each want to have a yacht party at the same time but want to have different themes? WHAT THEN? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SHARE ONE YACHT?!

That commercial was by Verizon who fucking throttled the data of firefighters during the wildfires to force them to buy a more expensive plan 

How many of those were bought by confused mothers looking for Van Halen, though? At least 20 million.

You know, my friend Bob Sacamano sells counterfeit Porsches in Battery Park.  So real you can’t tell the difference!

And here I am, that crazy asshole that prefers RC to Coke or Pepsi. COLLECTIVELY COME AT ME!

You are wrong.  

Sometimes his wife forgets so he has to steal them!

Met a man in Albuquerque

Obligatory:

Let’s Remember Some Dives

Who on earth though The Day After Tomorrow was good?