And yet, when I insist on crafting while naked so glitter doesn't get all over my clothes, everyone is all "put on an apron at least!" and "this is a public park, for crissake!" PRUDES.

I saw a bra strap once. Woke up six days later in a ditch outside of Reno, covered in blood and cocaine. Never saw my car again.

And if you need me, I will be by the pool in my American flag speedo drinking Bud Light and eating croissants all day. (Because that is a real thing I do.)

This pleases me way too much. I HATE wedding culture, but I'm hopelessly fascinated by it. The blogs, the tumblrs, the crazy wedding announcements. It's like trashy reality tv to me, like a salty bag of chips, ima keep consuming it until it makes me feel bloated and gross.

I will bet right now that the winner will be a design by Pnina Tornai.

Is that the 2014 version of a monocle popping out?

"no one else saw them but me." #blessed #Yeezy

your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I want Rooney Mara, I have this whole subplot of them having to work a figure skating competition and Rooney has to double for Johnny Weir after an assassination attempt, I have a whole powerpoint about it.

This is the finest most comprehensive list I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Bless this.

I retreat to the guest room futon for the 2 worst nights of my period. I call it my period hut. I like it there. The harder futon is comfier when I have cramps, as it forces me to sleep on my side. Also: period farts.

Her nipples are on her shoulders.

I have such an odd, extremely strange, fondness for Petyr. Even more so in the tv show, because his clothes are SO DAMN NICE. I swear, of all the men, he has the nicest, most well fitting frocks.

I don't watch Game of Thrones but I had to read this recap because I seriously thought "Moon Door" was a euphemism for anal. And I thought that was hilarious.

They had him wearing clothes for so long I was wondering if we would EVER see him naked. Now I know why he basically lived in the gym near my house last summer. And I thank him for his troubles.

Sorry for leaving out the return of Hot Pie. Truth is I kept accidentally calling him Hot Pocket so I decided it was best to leave him out.

For any other GoT fans who have watched Arrested Development way too many times: http://arrestedwesteros.com/