You're a turd.

Name inspiration

even if it was meant to be a parody of a commercial for a dangerous theme park, it'd be brilliant

Sensationalized headlines used to make not-so-life-or-death stories sound like its LITERALLY LIFE OR DEATH is lame click baity garbage used to drive eyes to stories that don't deserve it.

Everything is more expensive in NYC, including open bars.

Here's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses

I'll gladly tip $3 or more per well-made cocktail. I'm not tipping $2 on a draft or bottled beer that costs $7 and requires no effort whatsoever.

I have zero problems tipping but unless it's a mixed drink, I'm not tipping more than a dollar. Patrons don't need to subsidize bartenders to make up for crappy laws.

As a bartender, I don't mind $1 a drink for simple mixed drinks and draft/bottled beers. But If im making a proper top shelf Martini, Manhattan, Old Fashioned ect I want more than $1

A dollar per drink is fine. You know who else's rent hasn't remained fixed since 1991? Everyone's, at $6-$8 a beer these days, a two dollar tip is insane.

Plus I just realized you're the dude who wrote that terrible cheap beer piece, so your opinions on alcohol have been voided.

No, I just can spot someone who doesn't come from money. That you think the detail about the Ritz is significant to your tale tells me more about you than you probably intended to share.

Thing is, the Ritz-Carlton detail is unnecessary. Total douche move to include it but then try to go bro and disassociate yourself from it.

Here you are writing about it, hoping for clicks because your job requires that you draw a following so you can get paid. See where I'm going with this? This is the world we live in. Everyone wants neigh NEEDS MORE MONEY and anything will be done to get to their goal which will be supplanted by a new financial goal in…

Wow. I ended up feeling incredibly bad for almost every single party in this story. The faculty, the advisors, the players, damn near everyone. Well, except for the coaches and NCAA. Per usual.