the promise of homemade ketchup being delicious is the greatest lie ever told

Honestly, every time I’ve had one, I’ve been like: this needs either tomatos or to be a carbonara.

Love these moves

Crust is, by far, the biggest problem with frozen pizza. A convection oven can help or, if you can plan ahead and have one, a pizza stone.

You’re absolutely right. And I can drink straight cranberry and seltzer and trick myself into thinking I’m having a drink. 

I looooooove straight up cran.

so, a “reverse shrub”?

I sometimes go through two dozen a week when developing recipes, but this just hasn’t been one of those weeks! Sorry for trying to stay inside!

Yeah. Saw someone last week leaving a store with three of those trays of 30 eggs. Just like...why? What the fuck do you need 90 eggs for? People on WIC need those eggs.

I didn’t know you could ever buy too many eggs.

I know for a fact that you are wrong.

I have heard good things about this true lemon!! I need to look into it.

homemade gibsons for the cleverest win

Parchment paper?

I usually put it in a zip lock bag, flatten it a bit and freeze it. Then you can just break off a bit as you need. This works even better for cans of chipotle in adobo, which I never use a WHOLE can of in a recipe.

Don’t do this unless you’re experienced with doing home maintenance and know a lot of good people for the various trades (plumbing, electrical, etc.). You would be surprised at some of the sketchy shit I’ve seen in houses. When my wife and I were looking at homes, the code violations were all over the damn place.

Some Meijer locations to curb side pick-up as well. However, 1) it’s not all locations and 2) they, for some crazy reason, advertise the pick up service inside locations they do not support, including my own.

Don’t let Shipt’s “free delivery” claim fool you. Their prices for products are higher to cover the delivery. It’s the same difference as selling a $20 item with $5 shipping vs selling it for $25 with free shipping. You’re still paying for it. They’re just bundling it in the product prices so they can advertise it as…

I’m not sure she’s in any condition to drive.

Yeah... tickling is a surprise game. You’re killing the bonding and learning experience. You’ll know when your child doesn’t like to be tickled, but I am filing this with that bologna “ask for consent before changing a diaper” shenanigans. That said, there needs to be a “Safe word” that all parties know means the…