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If there is a God, there would be a video of Madonna and Prince arguing over footwear. That is all I want for Christmas.

It’s actually a secret preview for Episode 8, where Lando saunters in and mops the floor with the First Order in about 15 minutes.

Dentists pertain in every way to this question.

I can’t remember the villains from the 2 last games or any of the movies, so crossing my fingers the people making this movie won’t waste his considerable talents.

Hell, 2nd TEASER TRAILER HINTS THIS AS WELL. “The force runs strong in my family” one. And I’m sure he’s not having a heart to heart with Kylo Ren.

Apparently Anakin Skywalker was a virgin birth, the midichlorians having knocked up Shmi S. in some not very well-explained fashion. Rey has obviously gone one step further by having no parents at all. The Force isn’t just strong in her, it is her.

Joking aside, I think Maz Kanata’s line “That lightsaber was Luke’s.…

This was obviously done on purpose. Everyone knows you can’t stop the sexy.

Now here’s 10 portions of your other parent’s alimony.

Somewhere within the gilded bowels of Trump Tower, there’s a vault. And inside that vault, there’s a tarnished antique oil lamp, sitting on a monogrammed pillow. And beyond all comprehension, a being dwells within the lamp. This being, a djinn, is perplexed. This “master” isn’t much different from the other ones; he…

Rey is a clone of Luke’s hand

“F.A.B!.”

It’s Chewie.

Thunderbirds are go!

“HIT BOTTOM?!”

I’m not sure this one is the real TF. It just doesn’t feel right. Too desperate, too transparent, too scattershot. TF was usually more convincing when he tried the parrot tactic. This guy doesn’t seem to understand his target as well. And TF knew he never had a chance on Deadspin, but this one’s been trying hard…

YOURE TOMATO.

Dammit now I’ll really be reading articles all day.

Holy convergent evolution, Batman! Goddamn those look like feathers.

That one looks like it’s car broke down and it is towing the thing home.