I heard he was on that lean.

“This poor performance is really unusual” and yet “it happens to all guys once in a while” are things I also say about my Harden.

Here’s your star, and there’s the door.

If he finds his swing in AA and AAA, who knows, maybe they’ll make Tebow Harvey’s designated best friend and roommate!

Tebow: [Barging into Harvey’s room, jogging in place] Hey Matthew! It’s 4:30, time to hit the gym!
Harvey: [Groggliy] 4:30? Shit, I overslept. Where are we going for dinner?
Tebow: [doing jumping jacks]…

I get it Jabrill, “Molly” was also my favorite Sponge song.

When I see a master chef, all I see is a man or woman who will continually try and fail to come up with something better than the double cheeseburger.

He can barely skate. Play hockey? This Canadian says sorry.

Can we just have him coach Oregon, so all this shit fits together.

and she had real car trouble to get away from him.

WOW I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW CLOSE YOU WERE TO KATHY BERMAN, MY CONDOLENCES TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Agreed. She couldn’t afford something newer/better than a 2003 Lexus SC430?

I really feel that if you’re gonna half ass your evidence, half ass it all the way. Right?

Counterpoint: Yes it fucking is.

OK, Kid From Bad Santa, you’re up...Can YOU account for your whereabouts?

I mean, the talk of “rustled” “jimmies” was a dead giveaway, but also the petulant whining that came before it

Sounds like you have smug down already.

Come on, this is bullshit. Irsey hired Decker because he can use his Green Beret connections to get the best heroin from Afghanistan.

It’s so nice to be younger than these people because as time passes, they’ll all die off, and then I can organize a grave pissin’ roadtrip the likes of which this great nation has never before seen!!!!!!! YYEEEEEEHAAAAAA!!!!

“You’d be surmised! Every professornal football prayer says they’d kill for a vacation!”