Captain: “We have Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in our sights sir!”

Capitalizing the word warfighter is even more disturbing than their having coined it in the first place.

Followed by another press release from hockey USA

After the win, Seavey said to his team, “Good dogs.”

The only concussion I’ve ever had in my life was sustained playing in a carpeted gym at a Methodist Church in Tennessee. I tripped over a guy’s leg and when I came to, I was sitting on the bench. I asked the coach who shot tell free throws for me. His response was gold: “The guy who tripped you. The ref called the…

meeting Kermit the Frog is the best experience one can have on this planet

Getting drunk AT the sporting event? Who am I, Rockefeller?

1. Bert and Ernie are most definitely NOT muppets.

Sadly, the pitchforks remain safely stowed in the tool shed, as many in the lower socioeconomic classes that should be riled up remain smitten by the racial purity programs being implemented by a sentinent artificially flavored orange marshmallow and his cabinet of 1%ers, Jesus Freaks, and lovers of Nazi porn.

“I did inquire if there was any interest in reporters liking that, just to get understanding of their perspective,” Cousins said. “The answer I got back was that people were laughing with me, not at me.”

That’s a lot of effort to tell everyone you’re going to go 8-5 and then lose in the Del Boca Vista Phase II Bowl

Also a metaphor for that rainy night about a decade or so ago, when I awoke, startled and afraid, and realized that no, in fact, I was NOT going to be a professional athlete, famous writer, architectural genius, or even a suitable long-term option for a spouse or significant other.

BECAUSE IT HOT IN ARIZONA SO OLD PEOPLE GO TO ICE PLACE TO MAKE BODYS COOL AND WATCH TEAM GO

This season I have seen more of the Lakers in highlight clips than ever before. Of course they are always on the receiving end of somebody else’s highlight.

You type too much

dude that’s messed up you showed a picture of his corpse

Do you really want to have to go to work in January?

When you’re tired of winning... please consider The Jets