A priest, a rabbi and an atheist walk into a bar.

As a Bears fan, I am far more concerned about the impact Mike’s wife Yoko Gono has on his life than I am about his QB skills.

If that sport coat doesn’t get you traded, nothing will.

I voted for Obama.

Ive already put in an application down at the asbestos mill.

The ultimate irony of the Trump Presidency is that those who fought against him are largely going to be fine in the Trump economy.

The people most screwed are the ones who voted for him.

“...And when there was only one set of footprints, my Lord?”

He’s certainly a repressed tosser.

Yay, I say to thee, on the third pitch, he shall strike out

MLB should change the strikeout rule and immediately ring him up instead of wasting everyone’s time by forcing the pitcher to throw three pitches.

I’m more content with them paying Bobby Bonilla than Tebow.

I was just asking myself the other day, “Whatever happened to Earl Boykins?”

That’s not how statistics works.

You misunderstood. Not the silly ramblings in the Kinja threads, I’m talking about all the video clips posted on this site throughout the season highlighting what a bunch of maniacs they are.

Hey, piece of shit. It’s NAIA, not Division II - you don’t have to even look it up. It’s in the fucking video.

“Correction: second American.” - Abby Wambach

If nobody else is having fun in Buffalo, why should the Bills?

“At the end of the day, we just couldn’t walk away from mutual alliteration.”

—Buffalo Bills Personnel Person on sudden signing of Tyrod Taylor

My favorite part of this is the hot takes on what Tyrod needs to do to succeed on the local news sites. Yeah, like he never would have thought to throw over the middle without input from a lardassed forklift operator from Tonawanda. Thanks, buddy!

On the contrary, this article presumes there’s truth behind the age-old fallacy that the reason you take kids to the theater is to get them to watch the movie.