You gotta put Waymo effort into it. You can do it.

He reminds me of that dancing traffic cop I ran over last summer.

Five For Fighting just got a bigger ovation than 3 Doors Down did playing an inauguration.

“Thank God! My technique absolutely sucked. Need to figure out a way to get more flush on my contact....”—Nyquist

Fucking right. I’ve got tee times at 3!

Moose Lamb

This guy sounds like he’s uttered the phrase “but it’s not a pyramid scheme” to all of his friends multiple times.

“Injure your knee once, shame on you. Injure your knee twice, join my club!”

Yep, I almost want to meet this person just so I can tell her how much I wish I never met her.

I think we should have smoking sections, but those that sit there must always have a lit cigarette in their mouth at all times while they sit there. “I’m sorry sir, this is the smoking section, you’ll have to light up or we’ll ask you to leave.”

First, screw Lane Kiffin.

I DO want to complain! Thanks!

Bombed Billikin Busser Bandit Bolts. Bad basketballers bummed.

I used to coach high school girls’ basketball. I quit, in large part, due to the array of bus drivers that I had to deal with. Transgressions included driving in reverse for over a quarter mile on the interstate to catch an exit he missed (actually very scary,) going 9MPH in a 40MPH (turned a 40 minute trip into about…

Oh man. Alex Jones is a giant poop monster but he has a voice sent from God above that was made for calling backyard wrestling and/or Division II college sports.

This comment is pepto-dismal

That settles it. The next time I want ass-ugly, poorly made athletic apparel, I’m not even considering Under Armour.

Dispatch from Baltimore: UA is headquartered here and recently reached a controversial deal with the city to purchase a BUTTLOAD of land called Port Covington to build a huge “campus” in exchange for tax breaks from the city (Tax-Increment Financing or a TIF). The city has given out TIFs before under the guise of…

You obviously weren’t watching television last Sunday.

Wouldn’t it be great if the Warriors won the title and the entire team refused to go to the White House? Good thing they got rid of Bogut.