As an added bonus, with the win UConn got to take home the Civil ConFLiCT trophy.

Looking forward to April 2017's follow-up book, Narcoleptic Frothy Dipshits Who Have Interviewed Me

Francesca further went on to ask how Seattle was doing with that Kevin Durant kid they drafted.

The notion that LA was hurting for an NFL team is a myth. Take a city with a gorgeous climate, a million things to do and crippling traffic - and then give the population 20 years to learn that life is fine (and maybe better) without the NFL.

I love the false equivalence here, like what she’s doing is totally normal. Like when she said “Oh Trump never mocked a disabled reporter” it was just normal politics as usual.

“A long time ago I realized I’m the quarterback of our team, and maybe of this company.” - Chris Berman

I worked in sports media for about 10 years and met Berman about 4 times. He’s the single most arrogant asshole I’ve ever met in my life and there isn’t enough barbed wire in this world to wrap around the dildo he can eff himself with. Maybe Peter King can quote that.

“A long time ago I realized I’m the quarterback of our team, and maybe of this company.” - Chris Berman

Too much Iron City. And the alcohol probably didn’t help, either.

“Why would you not pace yourself or cut yourself off after a bit so you remember the experience?”

Now it’s a two topping pizza.

That’s not Snowflake!

Jay: “Hey, Siri. Call DEA.”

I’ve seen pedantic arguments between Porter and Doorman before, but I’ve never seen the police called over it.

Tore my ACL when I was 13 and had to wear a brace through gradeschool and highschool while playing sports. Those things fruckin suck. They absolutely do smell terrible after a few weeks of use, like sweaty cheese. You are constantly trying to adjust them, because they move up and down during gameplay, and if you…

but the main thing I want to draw attention to, here, is Parker’s legs. Look how much of them he’s got!

“When I told Bill about all the women I slept with on a boat before, I didn’t think I needed to be more specific.”

Your secret is safe with us Eli

That hole won’t make it to eBay. Antonio Cromartie, Jr. already impregnated it.

Nah, I wished an ACL tear on him because he had no reason to try to fuck with my punting motion other than that he was a grade-A shithead. And I’m not saying he tried to restrict my warmup space, he was legit knocking into me when I was trying to punt. That’s a big nono.