They’re lying to you. No one always does their best.

In all fairness, nobody’s won with a floor routine that’s 50% thumb-dance since Nadia Comaneci in 1976

Yes, COMPLETELY, snickered the co-pilot.

This story both makes me incredibly happy and incredibly sad. Happy, because I FUCKING KNEW IT. And sad, because I fucking knew it.

Goddamnit, I really didn’t want to “Remember Some Guys” this afternoon. RIP, Rashaan.

thats Captain Butterscup, to you - he didnt go to the naval academy for four years to be addressed like that.

Let me throw this phrase at you:

Free fallin’ Jets enter the great wide open in hoping Petty can avoid a breakdown while runnin’ down his dream.

I’m really getting tired of you posting reasonable comments here. I mean, how are people supposed to be outraged when you’re going around trekking people to wait for evidence? (And yeah, Gasser seems to have a bit of an anger issue...)

Don’t forget, it’s definitely not race, we have no idea what the motive might be though...oh and we are definitely biased but in a good way cuz a deputy helped raise him...

I prefer to think of your comment as sexual code.

Do these jobs count as created by Obama or Trump?

Nice! I’ve been looking for more people onto which I can project my rage.

Nah you’re a twat. There is a difference between rounding up people to nuke them and quietly disagreeing with their lifestyle. For instance, I’m not a huge fan of “crusty’s” (http://thevillager.com/2013/03/28/a-crusty-proposal-crack-down-on-voluntary-homeless/) or their lifestyle. But I don’t think we should kill them…

A guy named Mike who wants to “nuke the gays” will temporarily fill in while the head man is out of commission. Thank goodness this is only football and not any sort of consequential situation.

Jokes....jokes....where did i put the jokes?.....

Opposing Player 1: He’s just chilling there

Hey man, no one wants to play in the Coliseum

I’d be afraid that if I finished after my Tesla hit the deer it would mess me up, and I’d end up snuggling hookers into the ibex enclosure at the zoo - “Baby, I can only cum if I’ve first maimed an ungulate.”

My wife makes outstanding chili. Like I’ll push my kids over to get the last bowl good (OK, I’ll admit, there’s a lot of food that I’d push my kids over to get at). Last year I came home from work and saw a half eaten bowl of cold chili on the kitchen table and thought “Jackpot!”. The top tasted weird and acidy but…