1) Joke about WNBA being unpopular
2) Joke about how there are so many ESPNs
3) Joke is an overused reference to a movie from more than five years ago

Congrats, you are now a drive-time sports radio host. Please pick up your bottle of spray tanner and wrap-around sunglasses at the front desk.

Excellent job, WNBA. These players have just enough to lose that they would be strongly tempted to stay quiet and toe the line, but they don’t. That’s fantastic.

That’s a hefty contract. I guess there was no way the Bronco’s were gonna get Miller lite.
I guess now that he’s getting all the money he’ll be living the Miller High Life.
I guess this was a real Miller Genuine Draft 64 Lemonade???

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried for a third one.

There’s that old saw about never seeing how sausage is made.

I just go into the tall grass and walk back and forth til I get what I want.

Strongbad’s dragon has already given some good tips on fighting, but I’ll overview for thoroughness.

Bear Friday = quittin’ time. Thanks, crafty garbage bear. I no longer have to justify my slacking to myself.

Barbecue involves slow cooking food at low temperatures over several hours. I believe the more generic “grilling” is a more apt term for this article.

This piece was pretty annoying. I’m a female and I enjoyed the episode, as well as the previous two. Please don’t use Jezebel as a podium to whine about things you don’t understand due to lack of interest. My unsolicited advice: If you don’t care, don’t write about it.

“I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.” - Mitch Hedberg

The best part of this award is that no matter who gets it, it will undoubtedly be posthumous.

Except the two guys who play in that same outfield, sure

That was.... too sweet... of you

At least he didn’t jump into the ring with Haku. You’re likely to lose your nose if you do that.

DON’T talk shit. If you insist on doing so in an unfamiliar setting, I personally guarantee that one of three things will happen:

He went for Dirty Deeds that early? Never go for your finisher right out of the gate. Save the high spot.

There’s a typo in your article. You forgot an “O” in “doomed” in the second paragraph.

I scream

2007 Fiesta Bowl - Boise State over Oklahoma. Goddamn that was a great game.

Fuck you Schilling. Fuck you for preventing me from voting Rovell. Worst tweet should always be Rovell.