Equally hilarious is the moment they realize the political party they pledge their unwavering devotion to is also not on their side.

I’ve never been in a Kia dealership, but it is my understanding that your experience there is typical for them.

Sure, still, fuck the Yankees though.

Great... Angel Hernandez is shapeshifting. 

The great thing about being a Miami Dolphins fan is that you don’t even need to watch any of the games to see how the season turns out. The only mystery is whether they’ll be a disappointing 6-10 or 7-9 or a mildly surprising 10-6 or 9-7. If everything breaks exactly right they’ll backdoor their way into the six seed…

Lifted Subaru Crostrek with a stick

Pfft, the correct answer is to use the leftover portion of the ribeye you grilled the night before. It’s already been cooked, and you just have to reheat it in the cast-iron pan while you’re doing your sunny-side-up eggs.

Bone hugs in harmony.

He is holding the bat the same way I would hold a comically large ice cream cone with 12 scoops of ice cream on it.

That was really horrible bunting form, even for a pitcher. I understand that he needs to protect his throwing hand, but he did not have proper hand positioning to control the barrel of the bat.

Didn’t see anyone ask for it and not that it necessarily needed to be done. But, here’s the rescue set to Yakety Sax

“Sir, we’re losing altitude!” “Engage bottom rotor!”

As if that weren’t bad enough, this poor lady finally made it to the hospital, only to discover that this was her attending medical team:

Biggest scam in Philly is Pat’s and/or  Geno’s cheesesteaks being marketed as edible.

I’m an ex-football lineman. If I am on the aisle, I will stand-up and block the aisle until the other people in my aisle are able to grab their stuff and leave.  Funny, all these people who will run over people twice their size don’t try that with me.

Amed and Dangerous.

Good for Philly to have the longest and biggest thing again after Foles left town

To paraphrase Charlie Sheen - you don’t pay a sex worker for sex, you pay her to leave and not ask questions.

Wentz is a “selfish” and “uncompromising” teammate who isn’t as loved by his teammates as backup quarterback Nick Foles is

He’ll be needing that straw now.