This is America. I judge everything well before I try it.

Having the sick impulse to call the cops, from the site of one of the worst flood disasters in American history, to report victims of that flood for looting a supermarket; but also: a crime

Is it just me, or does he look like an unkempt Dave Coullier in that picture?

“Welcome your new manager, Dusty Baker!”

“not cool”

I recently went down to NYC this weekend with my girlfriend

If its Twins 30 day veteran ‘Barty’ thats keeping you going, I would suggest getting Leinenkugels on tap in the basement.... stat.

“The kid that threw the avocados never played for me”

remember, this is for an Ohio audience, so words with pictures

Ohio

Silly thought. If you have time to put a towel in the dishwasher, Then why not just put the dishes away....Duh

If Pitbull buys in, will he make the Marlins all wear women’s jerseys too?

mystified or bored or otherwise deterred by a simple screen

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

I’m sure Holland will give him a 5 year $20M deal

Put your dick in a bun and eat that.

ugh, the worst people on Earth. I can’t tell you how many times I have been behind someone that talks to their friend the whole fucking time they are in line, only to reach the counter and contemplate what to have. It’s usually some attractive girl who has spent 10 minutes telling her friend how she’s taking a year…

I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

I’m pretty sure Crosby made a Mapplethorpe-style self-portait with the Cup sometime between last season’s bullshit championship and this season’s bullshit championship.