The little league dugout was good enough for Stacy, freshman at Ridgemont High, to lose her virginity.

Ugh. So Messi.

How about a little respect for the military prowess of Michigan? I present my case:

Just to be clear: Pat Summit, Muhammad Ali and Buddy Ryan are dead, but Skip Bayless is totally fine.

Major League teams: “we don’t condone this sort of thing.”

EVERYONE IS ON THE FIELD NOW! BRAIN, WE GOTTA GET SECURITY DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW! THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT WEEK ON NITRO, WE’RE OUT OF TIME, GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

This is how I behaved when I met Rosario Dawson. I was 36. Good bye.

Here’s my message to Bernie supporters, the precious snowflake Millennials:

Luckily, the A’s are used to other teams completely erasing their leads.

Prolly just me, but I’ve always thought Tirico is just boring as shit. He’s not bad enough to hate on like Chris Berman or Joe Morgan, he’s just a mediocre voice. His “championship calls” lack any charisma whatsoever. There’s no “Do you believe in miracles?” or “I don’t believe what I just saw” in his highlight reel,…

The last time a Hurricane got this testy a Ward was destroyed, and I’m not talking about Cam.

I know it is a different time, but I think what is said on the ice, should stay on the ice. Should he have chosen a different word? Sure, but honestly it doesn’t matter at all. Too many sensitivity meters are running at 99%. A hockey rink is not your cubicle.

Come on now, Houston. Don’t you wish you had another ring? I know I do.

And then the rest of us will mention that he is a rapist.

It is unclear whether sprinting on a home run is a violation of baseball’s unwritten laws, or counts as playing the game the right way. A meeting to determine the answer will be held following the next Springsteen show.

If Harper is looking to pay homage to the Nationals 2015 season, I think I know what it is...

that’s Flint. Different city about 80 miles away.

Flint and Detroit are not the same city.

I can’t wait to watch shitty Thursday night games while reading shitty racist tweets.

“Unclear if that total included this girl, who has an awful lot of blood on her hand.”