Not really.

This year, it's pizza and beer. I did splurge a little; got her some candy (good stuff: M&Ms -peanut and plain- Whoppers and Reese's Cups), a nice card and Dancing Groot, which made her squee. Nearly ten years in, I can still make 'er squee, I figure I'm doing alright.

You just need to send the following emojis, in this exact order: bb gun, neck pillow, B&B, prison door, infinity sign, wedding cake.

Not to downplay the seriousness of the crime (which I am about to downplay) but has this guy ever been to a bed-and-breakfast? A B&B is the worst place to hide out. Bathroom in the hallway! Communal breakfast served in the dining room! Forced-March tours of the historic minutiae of the house and its connection to…

The first person she should stay away from, will be the children's father/fathers. Those suckers will be coming after her with both hands and both feet grasping for all they can get.

I won EIGHT DOLLARS in that Powerball drawing, which I invested in a very delicious beer. Try to contain your jealousy.

Cue to Rush Limbaugh getting red faced and ranting about "handouts" and making horrible jokes about how he theorizes she'll spend the money.

Wondering the same thing. I heard it was better to take the lump sum so you can start investing and make more gains. But in light of the lottery curse...wouldn't you rather have the money coming on a regular schedule?

I'm with you. What's the story with Bounce? Is he winning a prize for being the best damn dog in the UK?

And now for all the family members who clearly didn't lend a helping hand when she needed to quit her two jobs to show up and remind her of that-thing-they-did-that-one-time.

I couldn't care less if other species don't drink milk after growing up. The last time I checked, Homo Sapiens is more awesome than any other species on the planet. I pity people who have lactose intolerance, I don't know how someone could live with such a crippling flaw.

So, is he saying to get rid of anything dairy related whatsoever?

Because cheese.

Strange Synthetic Almond Liquid, you mean.

Hot chocolate milk

And several species of animals can't digest chocolate, so that means humans shouldn't eat chocolate either, right?

Counterpoint: There is no better snack food than chocolate milk.

An account of a gay Holocaust survivor, Pierre Seel details life for gay men during Nazi control. In his account he states that he participated in his local gay community in the town of Mulhouse. When the Nazis gained power over the town his name was on a list of local gay men ordered to the police station. He obeyed…

Side question: what is going on with his briefs in that picture? Are they listening to headphones? Undergoing electrotherapy? Is he bonding with his drawers the way women sometimes bond with their fetus? I do appreciate the presence of the Windex as it implies that he may have cleaned the desk before he ate off of…

She'd rip a tit off for sure.

"(whose testicles were treated at Ball Memorial Hospital)"