I haven't had the displeasure of reading the book, but something tells me he's wrong on God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy as well.

What's next? Are they going to ban dancing like the citizens of Elmore City? "NO, WE ARE NOT A PARTY OF INCREASINGLY SENILE AND IRRELEVANT OLD WHITE MEN."

How long until this is a primary ad? Imagine that steely-sounding voice that you know from doing all of those negative ad voiceovers:

There's enough room in New Orleans for two costumed dog krewes. Let's face it, we could probably even use a few more.

Seriously. That fork needed to be tagged, kept separate from all the other silverware, and burned.

These were all especially horrible and depressing today. Except Conchita- she was funny.

My husband and I went out to Red Lobster the other night because I was having a major shrimp craving and our options are few and far between in the Midwest. Our server was a blast, was clearly on top of all of his tables, was affable, apologetic when something took a while, and was generally just really good at his…

Depends on the situation. If you're in a busy bar or club and you're paying with cash, the buck is probably fine - in fact, if the place is super-busy, getting a beer can be a nice mental break from remembering which young girl wanted the Cosmo and which one wanted Sex on the Beach and who wanted to do shots of Baby…

I worked the front desk at a hotel resort back many years ago. Mid 1980s so you probably could not do what I did to the most obnoxious customer I ever had. We were a resort with golf course, cabins, lodge rooms, pools and dining room. This family was never satisfied with anything. Always wanting a comp on…

Oh my god the last one gets me. I worked at a steakhouse outside Boston for 6 years while I was in school and then between jobs. I was known for being a Christian who really tried to practice an authentic faith where I loved and respected people and was never preachy.

Cat breeding always mildly surprises me. I mean, of course people breed cats and buy fancy cats. But part of me always thinks: Whaaaattt? Pay money for a cat? Just wait for spring and look for a sign that says "free kittens." That's how my dad always got cats, anyway.

Dog breeders are WEIRD. Well, all domestic animal breeders are a little off, but in this case the cat people are more sane than the dog people. That story doesn't surprise me a tiny bit. #notallbreeders, but a lot of animal breeders I know are kind of awful people. They have no verbal filter and will insult any animal…

The takeaway here is I really want a steak.

Rude to wait staff is at the top of my pet peeves list. No second date after that.

My friends and I refer to this as 'The Ick'. It is SUPER COMMON. I dunno the reasons for it, but amongst my group we have speculated that it can be:

Heh, yes. I get around the whole issue by generally avoid being in relationships in the first place. I'm a misanthrope who doesn't like a whole lot of people, I need a lot of personal time, and having someone else constantly in my space makes me absolutely crazy. Also, dating is a lot of goddamn work, and I'd almost…

My new stand mixer did make pizza dough even faster. So I guess we had pizza more often after marriage.

Here's a question: Does anyone get repulsion?

My first relationship (in high school) lasted four years, and since then the handful of boyfriends I've had have all lasted a matter of months. (Like, half a year at most.) I think for me it's a combo of being scared of commitment - so I either cut and run or pick guys who are unavailable in some fundamental way - and…