The picture of Old Conservative White Dude summer camp you painted here is going to entertain me all day.

There are many more independents and liberals here in the heartland than Mike Huckabee wants to admit. He already knows it but that just didn't fit on the banner that he fingerpainted with Scott Walker and Rick Perry during Arts and Crafts hour.

Ann Coulter is running the longest con in history. I am 100% convinced.

I can't help but be oddly suspicious of this and the last-minute abortion-vote cancellation in the House last week (credit given to House Republican women) - like it's all part of some grand scheme to make people think, hey, the new, younger Republican women are okay! The party's turning around! And then there's…

Someone broke Megyn Kelly and I'm loving every. fucking. second.

my stripper post brings all the sailors to the yard, I see

HI EVERYONE I was a guest at this very party. Pretty much all of your horrified fantasies of us all arriving as a nervous giggly unexpected mob of 60 stingy assholes who only brought $40 each/did not tip/generally behaved in an obnoxious and disrespectful way are false.

The perverts up by the stage would be, I suppose, venture fapitalists?

I got some good-ass friends, and friends with good asses, and sometimes both (see what I did there)

I think they should get a DNA test. Maybe they both really have the same bio dad who got around, who knows? But they do look really similar: Same height, build, face-shape. Same triangle eyes and upward-in-the-middle brows that makes them both look adorable at all times. Same preference in facial hair. Same…

Me

It's all about the Benjamins baby!

About 5 pounds!

It worked that way this time.

Everyone talking about how different he looks are clearly late to the Galifianakis game. Zach was quite the hottie at the start of his career.

So, you're saying that he doesn't look exzachly the same?

Things just haven't been the same since the Kanye video....

Zach, I'm sorry. I have to break up with you...r hair. It's not working anymore. I've tried to accept it for what it is, but I just think I deserve better.

Conspiracy Theory: Zach Galifinakis is a character that Joaquin Phoenix plays. That interview from Letterman where he appeared to be insane (for the Casey Affleck thing) was just a trial run for between two ferns.

He & Renée Zellweger should work as consultants for the Witness Protection Program.