Cat 100% did that on purpose.

I apparently came back to a class where were asked what career and religion our parents had. My parents told me they were artists and atheists.

I watched The Flowers of War without knowing anything about the massacre and that movie fucked me up for a long time. I couldn’t sleep that night and had nightmares for weeks.

Didn’t get a pic and didn’t have bread but I made a Thanksgiving salad. Stuffing, cranberry sauce, and scalloped Hassleback potatoes over mixed greens.

Wait so it’s basically a $30 pad? Or is it washable?

tortilla chips and queso, but only in a mexican restaurant

I’ve had far more horrifying experiences with regulated cabs, including having one pretend to swipe my card up front and then give me back someone else’s of the same bank. He went on a spending spree that night. Another got irate with me when I didn’t have cash, after the city had just required all cabs to have…

What is that mattress like? I looked into their website after following an ad and it seemed like a great deal. I just need a fairly firm mattress thats still comfortable, so I was nervous to buy something sight unseen.

My hair appointments. I like to get a few special color treatments done and a high quality cut, both of which cost a pretty penny. But my hair stylist and I have an understanding and he does my hair in a such a way that I only have to go about once every 8 months. And my hair looks AMAZING even after month 6.

It turns out you molested my daughter-in-law as a child: NBD Josh, God forgives you blah blah blah.

A male coworker was once shocked to learn that none of the women in my office would go running in the park after dark. “But that’s the best time to go, it’s so cool out!” (we live in the South.)

Por que no las dos?

I think I broke my eye socket from rolling them too hard during her little speech just now...

It’s unbelievable to me that they somehow manage to convince themselves that sex with (or even seeing!) unmarried women is dirty and evil BUT you can totally rape a woman as long as she doesn’t believe in the same exact type of god you do. How can they possibly square those two beliefs??

Re: smokey legs.. Absolutely not excusing dumbasses who don’t understand what chicken legs are but why not just tell them “drumsticks,” seems like it could have avoided some of the confusion.

Seriously, that’s the age difference of me and my father.

... Wat.

Wait, so I should quit my job and date a high school senior? I can’t imagine how that would make me even remotely happy.

I think I know which Friendly’s you’re talking about, and was probably one of those rowdy kids :( sorry. We went to Hackett, so we’d come after dances and such. Definitely a bunch of little assholes though.

Somehow read that as your mom bought a baby bunny with its entrails hanging out and I was horrified at what kind of pet store you have in your town. And why would you buy that???