i really wanna find out what happened.

My husband and I were honeymooning in Las Vegas. We were on a down escalator on our way back to the castle from the pyramid after watching a live show when we hear what sounds like gunshots. Obviously, Vegas is loud as shit. We look at eachother, shrug and carry on. about halfway down the escalator a flood of people…

Not necessarily a horror story, but we thought it was funny (after being annoyed by it at first). For our honeymoon my brother's boss let us use his condo in Key West for a week free of charge. We went at the end of March and it was, as the person you'll soon read about told us, the week before spring break crowds…

"The ocean is hungry."

So not entirely my story....But well, my family, we're kind of assholes. (I'm particularly bad, but it wasn't me this time. I swear!) My brother gets married. He and my SIL are getting ready to leave for their honeymoon. They've packed a single bag. My brother brings out the luggage and leaves it unattended (This…

Ours is a long story, too long to recount here, so I'll say this...if our story had a title it would be:

For our honeymoon, my husband and I booked what was advertised as an "oceanfront beach house." The photos featured a lovely little house with a large deck and it's own private beach. We lived several hours away so we couldn't check it out in person in advance, but based on the photos, we thought it seemed like exactly…

My current boyfriend nearly drowned in Costa Rica while honeymooning with his ex-wife. He managed to get caught in a rip tide and was barely able to swim back to shore, where he collapsed from exhaustion. I don't think the ex-wife was around when this happened; apparently the whole beach was deserted, except for a…

When we got married way back in 1993, I wanted to take a cruise to Hawaii and just lay in the sun, but my husband wanted to go on an "adventure." He won. We decided to go to Greece. But not Athens, or any of the popular islands. Without the Internet, I collected articles about the other islands, and decided to try and…

After planning a wedding, I did not want to plan an elaborate vacation. We booked a Caribbean cruise, where I could just roll on the boat and have a drink with an umbrella immediately placed in my hand.

My mom is a travel agent, so when my sister wanted to book a cruise for her honeymoon, she got our mom to book it so they could get the best deal possible during spring break (money was tight as my sister was going back to school).

Our honeymoon was wonderful until our last night. It began as a lovely evening, we ate delicious food, drank entirely too many cocktails and retired to our hotel room around 2 am for some sexy time. We both passed out and the next thing I remember is being in an elevator on the fourth floor with the doors open. Our…

My "honeymoon" was 2 weeks of my new MIL staying with us and sightseeing since she had never been to the country where we live before. She's lovely but... not super romantic.

But I always comfort myself with the story of my friend's honeymoon. They left for their honeymoon immediately after the wedding, which…

My new husband and I stayed in a cute little cabin on the Olympic Peninsula and cooked for ourselves the whole week while exploring the rain forest and local beaches. The very last night, we decided to splurge on a nice dinner out. We got all dolled up and had a drink or two and had a lovely evening. Driving along the…

Once on the El in Chicago, I tried to clench my jaw and hold the vomit in once when I was badly hungover and realized I couldn’t keep from throwing up. The result was that the vomit came out my nose. Not a fun morning.

I threw up in the front row of a tiny commuter plane a couple of years ago. It was right as we were taking off, and I realized I couldn’t ask the flight attendant for a sick bag because if I opened my mouth, I’d vom. I tried to hold it in my mouth but it just spewed everywhere and the guy next to me acted like I…

FWIW, very few people can say they’ve barfed on a protected species.

A few years ago I was working as an environment reporter at a small newspaper on the Gulf Coast when some of my buddies from the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries invited me along to cover the release of a rehabilitated sea turtle. I was like, BEST ASSIGNMENT EVER.

Alright, I’ve never posted anything on Jez but I can’t resist this one-

I was in sixth grade at a new school and I wasn’t feeling great in my social studies class (with the cute young teacher, too). We were working on an assignment so I walked up to the front of the room to ask if I could be excused to the restroom. And when I opened my mouth to ask, I puked all over his desk.