PREACH - My mom has been suffering from schizophrenia for about 15 years. She refuses to believe she’s sick, and refuses to take medication. She was just released from her (maybe) 10th involuntary hospitalization -because ???? We have no idea why she was released, because she’s still talking about the radios in her…

When I was a teenager, my mom used to try to get me to sign up for Teen jeopardy. I never did. I was convinced I’d end up forgetting everything I know and looking like an idiot.

parent commenters: does this go away when dealing with your own children? because i also am unable to maintain my sanity in the vicinity of loud children.

One of the ways I can tell I’m not cut out to be a father is that loud children make me want to strangle things.

Really? I’m not even a baby person but his chubby cheeks make my ovaries explode.

Today I am dismissing my lawsuit against Whole Foods Market. The company did nothing wrong. I was wrong to pursue this matter and use the media to perpetuate this story. I want to apologize to Whole Foods and its team members for questioning the company’s commitment to its values, and especially the bakery associate…

He's the Clovis Man of dirty old men.

Same here. Her one and only facial expression stirrs my gut (in a bad way)

I forget about this and then periodically remember it and can’t stop laughing over “shovel face” all over again.

This is exactly how I feel and I don’t like her at all. But it’s just so rude, if you don’t like it, leave. If you stayed and don’t like it, talk shit on it later, but it’s still someone’s life’s work.

Rona Barrett was a guilty pleasure and she was definitely a hard worker, but she is not the pioneering queen of Hollywood gossip. that title is shared by Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper. Hedda and Louella were absolutely feared and placated in Hollywood because they could make and destroy careers. Hedda even…

I don’t know what this is, but I’m cackling at my desk really loudly...

my husband is asthmatic and under 40 and got pneumonia 3x in a span of 18 months - each time taking up to a month to recover. since he is asthmatic he usually doesn’t immediately realize he has pneumonia since his breathing is always pretty bad (even with a regimen of daily meds - not just an inhaler) so when he has…

Never seen Notebook either, not my cup of tea, also i never seen Titanic .

oh godddd I hope it’s a hoax

Joe Isuzu does:

“Sheenie” for Irish is one of my favorite long-forgotten slurs.

If not can we make it lopsided?

No. The rapper called Pitbull apparently got his name while on the way to watch a dog fight, so fuck him and his icky physical appearance.

Is that his mugshot? Oh please let that be his self satisfied douche face mugshot! Please please please! It’s such a punchable photo!