He deserves one hearty pat on the back! Now the real question is, does he dance?

“Seemed like such a joyless cult.”

I am, occasionally, suprised that capes have not made a come back. Just think of how awesome we would all look leaving a place when we’re in a hurry.

It was a solid food, Ted bot is only equipped to handle soup

Because she’ll throw Comet cleaner all over your bathroom in the middle of the night. You’ll never get those tiles shiny again.

They are also opposed to fun and joy.

Because Michigan has some seriously beautiful vacation spots.

ALSO

People outside of Michigan have no idea how amazing that area is. It’s ok with me to keep it a secret.

Am I weird in that I’ve never been presented with such a dichotomous situation?

I’m just going to come out and say it...

For all of those people who will, no doubt, object to this change I have a large stash of $5 and $10 bills that I’m willing to exchange for your new $20 bill.

I call your slice.

What?? That shit sounds amazing.

How do you see the clothes from the seasons???? I can only see a quarter of a photo on each paragraph. I must unlock the secret to reading at this fabulous post. Please help!

“He tasted offal”- The Homeless

For my last will and testament, I leave all my wealth to the Donald Trump For President campaign. And donate my organs to feed the homeless.

Let’s ask him?

LiLo is engaged to Egor. Officially. OK, probably. [Us Weekly]

I’m so turned on right now.