thurbersmicroscope
Thurbersmicroscope
thurbersmicroscope

Regis.

Plot twist: Nate is failing his classes because he spends his nights trolling local parks and killing transients with a hammer. You know, typical stuff.

Fact: Fifty is the youngest Prince Charles has ever been.

Truth? Sometimes I look at Camilla and Charles and can’t help but think about that leaked convo where he said he wished he was her tampon. Then I cringe forever.

My retirement plans include buying a house in the English countryside and a metal detector and just puttering around looking for old coins all day. Live your best life.

Don’t forget to pack the cockroaches in glitter...

This asshole does not deserve a dog.

Well, look at it this way. His delusion allows him to feel like HE’S the one being victimized by the Sandy Hook shooting - since it was “fake” in order for the government to “take his guns”.

There’s an intense need on the part of some pretty unpersecuted people to feel persecuted.

She stuck to him like glu,cos of the money.

Holy moly, do I HATE the interviews on Jeopardy. I was telling my wife the other day about my fantasy of how that would go down if I was ever on the show:

I kind of want a real cat to be inside that.

I did mine in February and it’s super hard to not gloat.

As an early Siouxsie adopter (read: old), i heartily approve, twigs.

...I don’t know how I feel about this.

That is a very specific nightmare in corporeal form.

You don’t remember the part in R&J where bRomeo takes Juliet to a wonderful little park just outside Verona and strums his lute and sings about Juliet’s hair in iambic pentameter?

Me too, and I was disappointed it took scrolling past all of the Bob’s Burgers pictures to get it.

i mean the woman is obviously mentally disturbed BUT she also seems like a witch who knows what is up. If you are going to use black magic ALWAYS use it to curse penises is my motto. Don’t waste black magic on trivial shit. Just penis cursing and waffle making. OMINOUS WAFFLE MAKING.

WHO SMELLS LIKE FREAKING PORPOISE HORK?!

I want the internet to band together and get something for that poor guy at the second window. Something like a better fucking job. We’ve all been there at some point.