Does Sports Illustrated still have the “This Week’s Sign the Apocalypse is Near” section?  Also, does SI still exist?

Lets hope he sticks to it once the inevitable series of rage tweets come spewing forth from the orange dipshit's tiny hands.

Yeah, I always cringe a little when there is an article making fun of a retarded person.  

Trent Dilfer is that very special type of bald man with teensy wee beard who thinks he is very VERRRY smart. Here is a list of other places to see this type of bald man:

Easy. Have no fucking shame, like this guy obviously does.

This is a perfect instance of where shunning will work brilliantly. Everyone in that gym should get to know this guy’s face, and refuse to play with him. As a teammate, as an opponent, whatever. He can go shoot free throws by himself, all alone, forever.

How do you come back from this? How do you ever show your face in that gym again? 

This guy is actually writing rhymes about fantasy football. The first verse was about Dalvin Cook—and how he might have to give him a second look.

Your comment has the cadence of a Trump tweet.

Imagine being an adult and being mad that you didn’t get an Ezekiel Elliot autograph at a fantasy football convention.

I realize that the RB position is slightly undervalued anymore, but if you believe that any RB can do 85% of what Le’Veon does, I have a beach house in Idaho I’d like to sell ya.

If the point is that linemen are more important to running games than their share of salaries has indicated in the past, yeah I agree.

This might be wise in some spots, but Le’Veon reinvented the RB position. Half of the time he gets split out wide on a linebacker, the offensive line isn’t doing jack shit for him. Offensive line investments are smart, but to pretend that offensive lines make every RB and ignoring the insane talent that Le’Veon has…

Surprised Trump wasn’t holding it for him.

Unlike his buddy Trump, he doesn't like to get wet.

Wait for Trump’s post-impeachment speech.

I hope you get the help you need bro. You’re a little scary and weird.

I’d say anyone with a face tattoo has questionable judgement. Maybe not a bad person, but certainly not a person I would be interested in hiring. 

I know this is some derivative half-assed marketing content to distract me from anthem kneeling, concussions, and the Detroit Lions, but I’ll be honest, I fucking loved it

I can beat that: