There are a lot of pussies that never played sports that also like to comment on sports. 

Cool story

JFC....the brain damaged president is going to get re-elected.

Elizabeth whispers “Can I tell you a secret?”, pauses dramatically, “You might want to go to your doctor for your bloodwork”. She smiles sheepishly, “I won’t tell anybody”.

The dangle by the Angle is proportional to the lead inside his head.

Not literally impossible. Beating the Wolverines was the right thing to do.

He really showed his ass in his time as interim pres. Both his front and rear ass.

Check this out...***hits pipe and speaks while holding the inhale***....what if bullets were like fucking seeds, man....***exhales***....and they, like, grew more guns...***laughs uncontrollably***....anyway, my break is over, we have a dev meeting. I'm totally going to pitch that shit.

Walking into the testing center like...

This guy is proud of himself for being an asshole.

I always heckle hecklers. But then the asshole behind me just so happens to be a heckler of heckler hecklers.

If I’m a coach who’s team uses that field, that’s the last training in Clarksville.

***vomits***

I’m sure they had sex at least once for procreation because he was probably ordered by his father or paternal-grandfather to merge brands with a rival.

Yeah, media beefs are super petty.

They tried to play it off, and they still fucked it up.

I watch too much Seinfeld or this dude looks like Vegetable Lasagna.

I subscribe. I love the Deadcast, but that was a painful listen. Not every writer is built for "radio", I suppose.

The Scotty Thurman rainbow dagger in Duke’s heart.

Nurkic averages 15 & 10. That’s a pretty good line. I’m sure Mario Mendoza is happy Pete Rose never publicly called him “culo”.