If any my friends were at my house for a game, watching a replay, and said “Ooooo, oooh, geeee, I don’t know, Jim. Boy, that sure is clooooooose” while sounding constipated I’d ask him to stop. But I would thank him for his insight otherwise.

I’ve never played a Kingdom Hearts game but I did see that a new AVGN video was posted about it. I haven’t watched it yet, but I’m going to assume parts of the game are dog vomit or monkey diarrhea or whatever.

If the Knicks really want to tank they need to bench Trier for, idk, do they have guys named Quitter or Giveuper?

If Vonleh misplays it, it becomes a live ball that the Knicks can recover for a Rockets turnover.

Taking the L when writing some schmaltzy bullshit is a hell of a backfire.

Part of the investigation was finding out if Beverley’s mother is hawt. Not sure what the answer was, but if so, questioning of her personally was requested and likely conducted over drinks.

It’s nobody’s fault that his head has a fault.

Suicide is an admission of guilt. He was a piece of shit. Fuck him.

Pleading guilty and sentencing yourself to death is the right move in this situation. Dudes like Sandusky and Nassar should take note of it.

There really should be a Deadspin ranking for “Funniest Insurance Company”.

People saying “these kids were approached by the Native American guy...yada yada yada” are some real fucking morons.

What's your friend's name? You know, just in case I finish this time machine I'm working on.

Speaking of shooting and Laimbeer, whoa! Laimbeer - Just under 33% 3pt for his career. Peaking at 36% when he had his most attempts, in a Championship year. A sneaky early unicorn.

“100th star!” Race-baiting to feed the anonymous chuds never before resulted in so much glee.

How does a detail get “buried” (it’s in there multiple times) in a blog post that is shorter than your response?

Trump to Miss Universe contestant: “Do you have a racist bone in your body? No? Would you like one? People are saying I have the most racist bone."

With regards to the football, you gotta ask yourself what’s worse, ugly or disappointment. Ugly, yes, MSU football. For disappointment you just drive a bit east.

......it's been known what happened for a few weeks now. Dude fell wrong and started hemorrhaging blood and nearly choked to death. He posted pictures of his nasty surgical wounds.

Seeing the chuds get "Kinja ratioed" in the discussion section is 50% of why I visit Deadspin. Get more of these dudes out of the greys, please.

It's fictional. I'm selling leprechaun hides now.