I’m glad someone appreciates it, but I didn’t exactly burn the Midnight Oil coming up with that reference.

If only for an unexpected, extended sweat mopping incident resulting in this jerk being put on the spot. “C’mon, you’re only moderately successful! Plus, the new kid a Duke, Graylon or whatever, he can dunk! Your game is fairly below the rim! Jesus, how much sweat is on the floor. So, just to recap, you are decidedly…

I’ve made fun of Charlie V as a Piston fan for his no-show on a gaudy contract, but on this momentous occasion, the time has come, to say fair’s fair.

To shoot down my own conspiracy, they probably didn’t like the idea of Cleaves leaving town to watch basketball, so you move on it if you think there is flight risk.

Allegedly happens 6 months ago, but the charges come on Tourney’s Eve. Prosecutor Kym Worthy is a Wolverine. Somebody has a campaign in her future.

“Pick an early exit for the Spartans and many wins for Villanova”.

Isn’t every edition of this all about Gruden’s passion for canoodling with young QB’s anyway?

What do you expect? These dudes don’t even show enough respect to pay the entire dinner check on a first date.

He’s Roman Reigns. She goes home with stains.

I thought the kid on the floor passing the ball made a Hedy play.

I would tell Rick Reilly to go to hell, but I hear that’s where his birth father works.

He managed to contain an outburst because he’s a leader and the best.

If he ever reaches free agency someday, he might sign with the Celtics just to have a uniform he feels more comfortable wearing.

How dare you, sir!? This man is a Christian with a foundation for abused children. He is above reproach.

Because he’s an Ivy League kid, I’m worried about any missing people or family pets in the area. I’ve seen Silence of the Lambs too many times.

The least they could have done was made his daughter a miserable brat so we could derive some satisfaction, i.e. the miserable bowl-haircutted, sniveling pisspants kid that got eaten alive on TWD a couple weeks ago.

All I took from it was that the Zombie Mountain is going tear the asses off some religious fanatics. Sold!

Socked his roommate, huh? Roomy get his filthy mitt on some sunflower seeds that clearly had “Mike’s seeds” written on the bag? Use some shaving cream that is exclusively intended for pie tins?

He missed out on his college freshman picture where he’s passed out, there’s a Sharpied arrow pointing an arrow to his mouth and “Dick goes here” is written on his forehead.

Things are going sideways. I have a preview of LeBron’s next tweet: