I don't like to talk to my food because that keeps me from eating it as quickly as possible

Incidentally that's exactly what I look like eating Chiptole

where she probably had to "nibble" on cake for 4 hours!

Let's see...it's Hathaway and DeNiro...so filming in NYC, most likely? There must a vegan bakery within 2 blocks of any spot from where ever they were, no? who the fuck cares? She's a nice lady!!

Miranda Kerr AND friggin Adriana Lima? Da fuq ladies? You can rebound way better than with that little shitstain. Team Legolas. I'll take two shirts please.

P.S. DISAGREEING WITH HOW ISRAEL IS HANDLING IT'S "SITUATION" DOES NOT MAKE YOU A JEW HATER.

I've seen this gif way too many times — and spin-offs — without knowing the exact origin. I even Googled it once. Anyone?

yeah, you know what? hillary (hilary?) duff is beautiful and probably a perfectly lovely human being. or at least her facial symmetry is tricking me into believing this.

Who brings a hamster to work?

Honestly, I think it's a bullshit excuse from bullshit people. I thought from adolescence until age 28 that I was too chubby to be attractive to anybody. Signed up for OKCupid, went on a couple of dates, and learned hell no was I ever wrong. Best thing I ever did for myself, by the way. Men are, of course,…

My own awkward story is very similar. Boyfriend and I are being very loud, thinking no one is home. He yells out something complimentary about the um, muscle tone in my vagina, which must have been the last straw for his poor father in the next room because immediately after that we hear a pointed "AHEM." We became…

IDK; when I'm on a date, my phone(s) are on silence; if I'm facing any opportunity of intimacy, the phone(s) off. Silent. In a different room.

Tangentially, I had an ex who tended to be just regular noisy. But every time he was about to come he got louder—and always the same noises. Eventually it was like conditioning, and I would get extra excited as soon as I started to hear it.

This happened to me! Boyfriend went downstairs and his dad asked him if he'd just murdered me based on the noises he'd been hearing. I couldn't make eye contact with his dad for quite awhile.

I hate to break it to guys but squirting is a trick. You can suck up a little bath water and do it any time so long as you're good at Kegels. Timing it with orgasm is just a trick, albeit a cool one.

So this didn't involve any actual sex, but I invited a guy I'd seen a couple times in for a nightcap. I poured us a couple of drinks and went to use the bathroom, expecting to come out and talk a bit, make out, see where things went. He apparently had a different idea because I came out of the bathroom to find him…

I was on a third date with a guy we'll call Joe. I hadn't had sex for a while and had offered on previous dates, but he wanted to wait, so I respected that. We go to the house that Joe is housesitting at for friends and start making out in the bedroom. I rip all of my clothes off in one smooth motion, tossing them to…

After breaking up with my high school boyfriend and having a long, depressing freshman year of college, I met this guy named Clint at a summer beach party through friends. He was a perfect summer fling. He was an incredibly tall (6'7), sweet, laid back, brown curly haired stoner dude with a giant dick, and he lived…

File under Awkward: While having drunken sex in college, she started crying halfway through (but in no way stopping) and talking about her friend from high school who had committed suicide. Then she said "hurt me" and turned over so I could do her from behind.

Had an awful crush on this fellow actor in college. He was a Senior, I was a Soph. We played opposite each other in a play and did the flirty, "Hey, I like you" thing. He was very popular, so I ASSUMED he'd had girlfriends/sexy time before. We made out in his dorm room for a bit and things were progressing…when he…