Maybe if you guys try hard enough you could pray the injury away.

I, along with the commentary, could not comprehend why they blew that play dead. As they pointed out several times really well, even if it was an incomplete pass, then nothing was lost by seeing the situation through. Instead the refs fundamentally affected the flow of the game without any good reason.

I thought they played the Browns last week? 

These guys fight with the skill and grace of three sleepy manatee trying to fuck a beach ball.

You don’t need an Rx any longer, Dad.

Hey man, when we can’t dunk on Cricket stans, the imperialists have won.

Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

Same offer I made to the Raiders, come to Fresno. Play 8 sold out games a year to 40,000 insane people. Buy an open plot of land for close to zero dollars and build a 80,000 person stadium. Then when high speed rail is complete the whole state can hope on a train and travel only 60 minutes and see them in the best…

Detroit, because they are probably the largest city without a professional football team.

Would you say they can’t get no....Satisfactory resolution to this situation?

Every fifty years you can count on a Rolling Stones concert in San Francisco ending in a fracas. Time is on their side.

I … I don’t understand...
- dude makes anti-Semitic jokes
- dude gets shit for it, rightfully
- dude says he’s going to donate to ADL as a way to take responsibility
- some idiots on the internet don’t like this
- he decides not to donate to them, as a way to... take responsibility??

I feel like I’m missing a piece of logic…

So the next time this dude claims sincerity, we’re just supposed to buy it wholesale, right?

Real courage of your convictions there, Pewds.

“I wore my croissant hat for this?”

The real punishment should go to the people who planned a SUNDAY wedding, Week 1 Sunday no less.

Here’s my essay: I also was friends/roommates with a magnetic pathological liar for several years. It was bad and shitty. When I was 23 I told her I was moving out and that she should get therapy because no one could trust a damn thing she said. Last I heard she had a kid and I felt sorry for it. The end.

I saw them open for the Sex Pistols once. Afterwards, Pearl Jam came on the stage as a surprise act.

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

“Intergluteal Cleft” would be a FANTASTIC name for a rock band.

I wish we could punish fans like these, but they are already Browns fans.