But what about it?

What about poop?

Be careful guys. Forging old school bonds with a rod is what got Adrian Peterson suspended by the league.

I think the crowd would've really fallen for Owen Hart.

Prosecutors remain baffled at the fact that of all the people surveyed, they can't seem to find a Patriots fan who began following the team before 2001.

Domestic violence charges dropped? Maybe we should be calling it football.

I'm sure there's not another team in the league he would rather have his last game against.

How crazy would it be if his last game ever was losing to the Colts?

ONE OF THIS WEEK'S PUZZLES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LIFTED DIRECTLY FROM DIE HARD 3.

Former basketball official here. Never worked with anyone QUITE this disinterested, but did work with some guys who were pretty disinterested. One guy showed up after I started the game (on time) without him, never left the other side or other end of the court, and didn't come up to me during time outs or anything. We…

[Phone]: *Rings*

It must be such a relief to see something black on the floor in Chicago that isn't Derrick Rose.

It a touching tribute to Stuart Scott, each Ohio State player is going to put one Buckeye sticker on just a little bit crooked.

Needle goes in, thread comes out, you can't explain that.

READ BETWEEN THE LINES, SHEEPLE

I mean, it's not Morelli's call. That play didn't fall in his area, so he has to trust his other parts of the officiating crew.

Mark, bring the Raiders back to their glory days: just use Ask Madden on every play.

Later, standing on a table in the lockerroom: "Hold her! Hold her right with the hand!"