I think the crowd would've really fallen for Owen Hart.

Prosecutors remain baffled at the fact that of all the people surveyed, they can't seem to find a Patriots fan who began following the team before 2001.

Domestic violence charges dropped? Maybe we should be calling it football.

I'm sure there's not another team in the league he would rather have his last game against.

How crazy would it be if his last game ever was losing to the Colts?

Former basketball official here. Never worked with anyone QUITE this disinterested, but did work with some guys who were pretty disinterested. One guy showed up after I started the game (on time) without him, never left the other side or other end of the court, and didn't come up to me during time outs or anything. We…

[Phone]: *Rings*

It must be such a relief to see something black on the floor in Chicago that isn't Derrick Rose.

It a touching tribute to Stuart Scott, each Ohio State player is going to put one Buckeye sticker on just a little bit crooked.

Needle goes in, thread comes out, you can't explain that.

READ BETWEEN THE LINES, SHEEPLE

I mean, it's not Morelli's call. That play didn't fall in his area, so he has to trust his other parts of the officiating crew.

Mark, bring the Raiders back to their glory days: just use Ask Madden on every play.

Later, standing on a table in the lockerroom: "Hold her! Hold her right with the hand!"

Do what you're told and shut up: The american dream.

$300?! That's overpriced. I just got two Sixers tickets for $8 strictly on the off chance that I might make it onto the court. This might be the only chance in my entire life that I'll be on a "professional" sports team.

Thanks Andy. Hey, look at all this snow we're getting!

Daryl Morey was sorry to let a player go who can grab rebounds by sticking his arm straight through the backboard, as if it wasn't there.