Look, if it were any other day, he’d step up and show you how to swing.

You sound like you sucked at tipping anyway. 

Everything’s coming up Traehouse. 

Unless the A/C goes out. Then who’s the fool? Not the dude in suit shorts, I can assure you.

Good.

Honestly I’d probably just cook one myself if I want to get it just right. But we have a bar in town that uses local beef in their burgers and cooks them right—pretty tasty stuff.

They didn’t disband tipping.

It’s odd that businesses only seem to ever want to negotiate the cost of labor down as far as possible. They don’t do that shit with utilities.

they need to hide some Germans on their team

Agreed. If you can’t afford to pay your employees, you can’t afford to run your business. 

Good. As someone said one time, if you can’t run a business without exploiting your workers by paying them poverty level wages, then you don’t deserve to have a business. Either figure out a business model that allows you pay a fair and decent wage or fucking pack it in and make room for someone who can. 

But will it be full of musical cues that they won’t be able to keep the rights to?

Pauline Kael used to call these types of movies “sick sad soul of America” movies. She had about as much fondness for them as I usually do. It sounds from your review like they just put a random celebrity into their documentary to make a point. They could have made this documentary about Brittany Murphy, or Jean…

Er, the British Empire abolished slavery in the 1830s (without a bloody war, might I add) and then spent the best part of the next century wiping out the international trade across the world at vast expense to itself.

The US has made many lasting contributions to democracy and the rule of law, but the issue of slavery…

I don’t like these sorts of ‘america was once a great democratic ideal that is slowly dieing’ hagiographies. america was founded by a group of rich white people who saw no issue with owning chattel slaves, committing genocide against the native people and doing whatever they saw fit with the natural resources of the…

The whole critic system is broken, regardless. We run off for Rotten Tomato scores that generalize the nuance of critiques. We look for “audience scores” which can be swayed by things like how the film was marketed, or if they find something offensive. (Spoiler: They probably will.)

He’s naturally injury-prone. It runs in his jeans.