“Look, I agree to a point, but what makes you think that his family wouldn’t be just as loving? There are also a lot more things to consider to. Financial aspects for example, and the family situation as well, then you have her health.”

And guess what - she still randomly makes comments about people having fat tummies and about wanting to be skinny when she’s grown up. And she’s in fucking kindergarten. It’s 2021 and I’m still terrified of the world we have to prepare our daughters for (for this and clearly many others horrible reasons).

Yep. As I said his fat-phobia wasn’t my only issue. My mom was... not nice. He really was the better parent. But that made his fat phobic comments all the more serious to me. His hatred of fat people was terrifying to me, because he was the only parent who liked me.

This guys reminds me of an ultra-athlete I dated in college. Dude was so disordered in his “health” habits. He taught me how to make myself vomit after overindulging in food or drink, and would suggest we do it together at the end of the night. I wish I could say I left him immediately. I was 19 and it took me…

The craziest part is that girls and women are constantly bombarded with fat-phobic messaging every fucking day of their lives, so it’s entirely unnecessary to add to that even if you believe that bullshit.

Yep. My mom would pick at my weight a lot as a kid and teen, and that was damaging enough, but my dad usually stayed out of it... until one day he got caught up in my mom’s bullying and called me “pudgy-pot.” I don’t remember the specific insults my mom used, but that one insult from my dad has stayed with me for 20+…

Right?! Sometimes I feel slightly bad about being single and then I hear people be all “I love my husband but he’s...a little racist” or “my husband’s great but he did say he’d leave me if I got fat” and I’m just like...well jesus fuck, being single is a million times better than living with that nightmare. How…

I am a fat gay man married off to a guy who pretty much looks the way he did 1/3 of a century ago, when I first met him. I was thin and muscular then too. He maintains a regular gym regimen (to the point where, when Emperor Cuomo shut down the gyms, we installed our own). I, on the other hand, had my metabolism…

My dad is fat-phobic and I can say that his treatment of me as a young person significantly destroyed my self-esteem and lead to years of sorrow and mental agony. I will never forgive him for the way he treated me and he is 95 years old. If I were this women - I would divorce her husband because his hatred of fat…

As a fat gay man, I often daydream about if a genie were to grant me a wish, one would be that all mean fat-shamers, through the nuances experienced by all fat people through financial, metabolic, and other fat-causing reasons, to become fat and have to dig themselves out of it like me and other fat people.

Lol omg. I could never with this dude. What is the point to being married if you get married to bad people?

The pertinent information is all there. The LW’s husband is a fatphobic asshole who is very active and very “healthy” (which I take to mean he is a performative health dude, not that the LW is admiring his cholesterol and PFT results).

I wonder: what will happen to your husband’s self worth and world view if he’s in an accident or becomes ill, and permanently gains weight?

The way I see it from Fat Positive, she’s trying to make her husband love her sister. Which is problematic in itself. You can’t make someone love someone else, especially if they have an ideological difference (or differences). From the tone of the writer, it appears that the husband and the sister have a cordial…

One of my friends from college had an eating disorder. She told me one day, very matter-of-factly, that her father would call her fat/make comments about her weight.

And how interesting that the LW puts “healthy” in quotes.

Most of the time, parents need to approach differing opinions as a meeting of valid ideas to hash out an agreement. This is not one of those times. The writer’s husband is an asshole. There’s no middle ground here. It’s one thing to encourage your kid to live a healthy and active life. Teaching her that being…

A man once told me that he would divorce me if I got fat. I am no longer with that man.

My father is openly fat-phobic. All three of his daughters either have or had disordered eating or a full blown eating disorder. His fat-phobia wasn’t the only reason, but it did make clear the one thing I should learn to ‘control’ in order to have any worth.

This person never explains why they love their husband, only that they do. And the closest thing to a positive trait the husband has is that they are “active.” I wonder why they are married? I am having a hard time believing that this is the only thing their husband is a dick about. I love Brandy’s answer in that…