I’m just sad because I HATE lads’ mags. Like here’s the news and here’s a ‘hot bitch’ in a bikini who’s gagging for it, also here are some pointless nasty jokes about ladies we’re not into! Also here’s a balls pun because we’re dudes right!?

I have a book on faith healing that I picked up at a book fair and it’s dedicated to Brother William’s who lost both his daughters. Like obviously the idea of anointing out the flu is hilarious but if he lost his daughters to traditional medicine how awful that this cult took advantage of his grief, if he genuinely…

These types (mentality not church) do juggle snakes already...

He could get a job on Fox and give half the audience rage-induced strokes.

It was via Facebook and sadly there’s no bitch-slapping sticker.

I once had a dude I barely knew but quite liked platonically (like if he’d been interested I totally would have liked him further but I didn’t see it as on the cards and I was fine with that) ask me out then add “but only if your hot friends come, I don’t just want to be stuck with you.”

I was about to say “he’s just the adolescent Nicholas Sparks” until I registered that this was about the actual Nicholas Sparks not Jonathan Green. Carry on...

I haven’t actually watched it... It’s on my “netflix workout” playlist. But I watched Children of Earth and was less than impressed and heard woeful things about it.

Eh I read it at 16 and it was massively popular. But really my childhood was dominated by Harry Potter so nothing else ever really got a look in (like people were reading Hunger Games when I was of that age but none of us ever did because Harry Potter was ending!).

Yet the MRA crowd take it as proof men are the real victims. Like men get laughed at all the time but bitches are barely ever shot!

I was cleaning out my old room recently and found a stein from an October Fest in 2010. The worst thing is that at the time I felt too old to be there...

I stayed in a hostel in Cardiff and someone asked me why I was there. After a bit I sheepishly answered “well there’s this spin-off from Doctor who...” She was also a fanatic so I feel there are many of us out there. Enough to make a series to make up for Miracle Day... Looking at you BBC.

I’m going to ignore this and carry on with my very important work...

My cousin is 18 and she really viewed twighlight as a gross uncool thing that she wanted nothing to do with. Sort of how we viewed high-cut velvet pants when we were 12...

She wrote a novella about two of the vampires that get killed by the end of the second book and by all reports it’s quite good. It’s from memory the Brief Life of Bree Tanner? I actually don’t think she’s an awful writer (as opposed to EL James who is the worst person to get access to a computer) but just started to…

Nah chicks are just like a video game (but stupid and illogical). He works out a foolproof game plan for getting a girl to bed then there’s a foolproof game plan to make her orgasm. It’s without fail 3 minutes of the roughest oral ever, making her give you oral for 3 minutes and then pounding her in missionary for 3-5…

It could be except again, 90% of the people that read twilight grew out of it and the remaining 10% are special.

You know how it’s really hot when a guy you’re netflixing and chilling with talks about how he loves to eat girls’ out but it’s fucking creepy when strangers do it? This is that situation. It’s weird that a dorm director sent this shit. Like if this was part of a consent week this’d be awesome, but randomly copying…

Nope I’m not a gamer in the slightest. It confuses a lot of people because really my sci-fi-ness ends with Doctor Who and potentially Blake 7. But I do empathise because I can’t take Matthew McGorry seriously as a feminist ally because all I can think is “YOU LEFT DAYA YOU BASTARD!!”

But I mean he’s right. I live in a place where toddlers aren’t shot at and drivers don’t even have the freedom to go faster than 20mph around pre-schools. We not only live in a dictatorship and our useless kids are coddled and not taught to dodge ANYTHING! Like how are we going to win the war against Russia/Syria?