Hey, you should leave Zuckerberg alone. I worked for him for a little while, and he’s really a nice guy. He helped me find the best hammock place in the Hammock District over on Third, and after I decided to quit, he still gave me ownership of the Denver Broncos, and even though I had really wanted the Dallas…

All you dudes out there that won’t go down on your women should take that first letter as an object lesson.

We prefer to call it an “unrequested fission surplus.”

I honestly don't quote The Big Lebowski a lot (even though I know it's very quotable) but I have gotten a lot of mileage out of "You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole" over the years.

We believe in nussing, Lebowski

Probably the Big Lebowski or Ghostbusters. Original I know.  Everytime I get pissed but don't yell fuck I say motherpussbucket!

I am Fartacus.

Moby Dick is hard to read. Find an illustrated kids’ version, instead.

It’s a colloquialism. It doesn’t really have to make sense. I get why it pisses so many people off—it’s pretty stupid—but I don’t think it’s “wrong”.

Yay, Zack Handlen Star Trek recaps!

This is a movie directed by the same man who directed Star Trek: Into Darkness

Actually, read the article and then did some light googling. Always a dicey prospect, but in this case, both clean and very interesting. The actress’ name is Catherine Combs. As in, the daughter of Jeffrey Combs.

You must be new to the internet.

Making flippant copy

I’m just worried about her bare legs. She’s gonna get torn up by mosquitoes and jungle flies. 

And there is zero chance Eastwood voted for trump. Zero.

Okay, seriously, what the fuck, speaking of snubs, how is René Auberjonois not deserving of an obituary article? The dude’s a legend.

I just want to see how the bear puts it on