Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. For tonight’s performance of “The Life of J.R.R. Tolkein,” the part of Mr. Tolkein’s sentient, sass-talkin’ left testicle will be played by Hugo Weaving. Thank you.

I believe he said the show would be a fever, longing still for that which further nurseth the disease.

From a legal standpoint that’ll never pass muster as an “appropriate remedy” because the truss rod would get stuck.

That’s a good point, but if you are going to post your joke on a free public platform like Twitter, you clearly don’t think your joke has monetary value and you have no problem with anyone seeing/hearing it for free. In that sense, can it really be stolen? 

Speaking on behalf of the Yerastrianish peoples of this great country, I’m saddened but not shocked to see that the State of Arkansas has chosen to prominently display the symbol of a more popular religion on public lands, while ignoring our petitions to erect a statue of the central figure in our religion, a bat…

Last night he went all in on the DD in the first round, got the question wrong, and still came back to make it a runaway, but the important thing is that I knew the answer to that DD he got wrong so if I know my science (and I think I do) I’m almost certainly a stunningly beautiful genius.

I actually had to come around to Attenborough! Sigourney Weaver’s work on Planet Earth was what I was exposed to first and I just got used to it. On rebroadcasts and the blu-rays I got it was Attenborough, which I chafed at initially, though now he seems a natural fit.

I remember going to the Sackler Gallery last year (it’s no shit, a Smithsonian museum in DC) and seeing a timeline of the Sackler family on the wall in there and thinking then, “Oh shit, these guys kinda sorta caused the opioid crisis. Bet that’s gonna be interesting.” Wonder if that timeline is still there.

Here is the Onion article you are thinking of.

Best,
Throatwarbler.

I liked Tasty Fish pretty well, I guess.

It is named after Jonsi’s sister, Sigurròs — presumably her last name is Birgisdóttir, but not if she’s a half-sister, and also any woman whose father’s name is Birgis would have that last name so there could be multiple Sigurròs Birgisdóttirs out there that are unrelated. Icelandic names are just the worst.

Man vs. Man

Science has proven that everyone who voted for Donald Trump had a hand in creating Myst III.

It was 5 on my PC version.  Totally worth the constant CD-switching.

Ah yes. Jim Comey, the man who somehow went from singlehandedly ensuring a Trump presidency to becoming the quintessential noble civil servant defending democracy... from Trump.

I’ll cotton to it for the both of us. Fuck Neil Diamond. This one won’t be touching that one, thank you much!

So it’s like a cannon that shoots cannons?

*Phew*.  All the dialog about the impending death of all sentient life, possibly at the hands of a mercilessly improving and adapting computer network set off my ill-advised foreshadowing alarm.

No wonder this one got an A.  It’s got that Frakes freshness!

The writer of this episode did some heavy fucking lifting to make us care about Airiam before they killed her, because none of the previous episodes did a damn thing in the way of characterization! The POV ending in particular really got me.