Halo 5: Are Cortana's Breasts Big Enough Yet?

So now I only have to pay $400 to play a sequel in a series that I got tired of last console cycle?

Holy shit, this is why the Pentagon recently held a hearing to discuss AI morality!

What's really silly is that The Onion is still more accurate than Fox News.

I think there are much better things we can do for freedom, like eating a slice of apple pie with a piece of American cheese melted over it and a mini American Flag stuck in it.

"That drone movie"

No, Galifianakis is going to play the mail order bride.

Ahhhhh, the Story of Everest.

So, still better than the last three?

Now say you were born out of Satan's ass!

K.N.I.F.E.G.R.A.B.

If he has such a great sense of humor, where are all the one liners?

It's a joke.

I have bonded with a disparate group of people over 80's action movies.

So you're saying we should be listening to Chris Brown or that Christian metal band whose lead singer killed his wife and their name was kind of ironically morbid?

You've obviously not had an attractive woman mouth the words to Common People while she dances with you.

I like to listen to Wesley Willis' "Rock and Roll McDonalds" while I'm walking past the Rock and Roll McDonalds on my way to Portillos.

"There is nothing wrong with liking sports," says everyone when I tell them I don't like sports.

Remember when there were good celebrity scandals, like O.J. or the girl from Diff'rent Strokes becoming a stick up artist?

He would make a great Dr. Psycho though.