Good to see he finally said the safe word, even if it was a little late.

I do and it’s so fucking intoxicating

I wish I had the Christ-like power to raise your comment from the greys.

“Good morning!”
“Lamar, we’re so glad you’re awake. Now you can make decisions for yourself instead of having your wife Khloe make them for you.”
“I’m still married to Khloe?”
“Yeah. You see, you filed for divorce like a year ago but there have been backlogs in the...”
“[goes back to coma]”

I hope is he back to smoking crack and doing more hookers by next weekend

priapismic lazarus

He now officially has a better prognosis than the Lakers.

I am glad to hear the Lamar was able to regain consciousness and has a greater chance of recovery; however, if I have lived my life in such a manner that, at any point, life and death decisions are in the hands of another human being, and that human being is a Kardashian, someone please kill me.

[new google alert arrives in inbox]

I want to punch you in the mouth for this joke, then I want to kiss it and make it better.

Embiid also was frequently seen feasting on chicken fingers

Embiid demanded a trade after Philadelphia wouldn’t let him take classes at Shirley Temple University.

Get out!

Report: Uruguay/Italy/France/Brazil/Switzerland/Sweden/Chile/England/Mexico/West Germany/Argentina/Spain/Mexico/Italy/USA/France/South Korea and Japan/Germany/South Africa/Brazil/Russia/Qatar May Have Bribed Its Way To Hosting…

I too, am taken aback.

Right? I think a bombshell would have been if they proved Germany DIDN’T bribe to get it.

May have? I thought we were just assuming that there has been bribary involved with all World Cups for quite a while now?

This belated Blatter voiding is going to soak everyone.

Bombshell? FIFA corruption?