Hi sorry, it’s “Lembas” bread.

Which is ironic because she’s only sitting where she is today because of her father. No one would ever hire her if she was Jane Doe.

her father is basically dying, yet she’s spending her time shit-stirring and spreading GOP disinformation on daytime tv.

I have to say it’s weird that you’re definitely real girlfriend from Canada is so invested in American politics.

Kudos for spending the night before bailing. “I regret that I have but one nut to bust for my country.”

Despite the fundamental crime of never giving him subtitles

but did Vargas pay for the shorts? that’s the important thing.

I am not suggesting we replace democracy with a system of government that makes decisions based on physical combat but I’m also not not suggesting that at this point in our history.

He should have stuck with fencing.

This is a very bad take. Let’s break it down:

This is the equivalent of staring off the game with an onside kick, pulling your started after one incomplete pass, going for it on 4th and 30 on your own 5, and then bringing in your special trainer to play QB. This isn’t unconventional. This is bad.

I don’t know who the hell you are but you’re not from Philadelphia.

I don’t think you have a firm grasp on the meaning of the phrase “throwing someone under the bus.”

Jesus, that’s good.

going away for a while to nurse your wounds, another Holy Week move

I remember there being a really funny proposed name for a Canadian jaeger going around when the first movie came out. Something like “Mountebank Youbetcha.”

How come there isn’t a Jaeger named “Napoleon Dynamite”? There should totally be one.

“Drew Has Got a Boner” syncs better to Dude Looks Like a Lady than it does to Janie’s Got a Gun.