that would conflict with their other concurrent narrative that she’s a ditzy bimbo

when rich people hear that we want everyone to get equal access to healthcare, they naturally assume that means they’ll have to suffer the way we do, because they know that their extreme wealth depends fundamentally on our poverty

phalaenopsis orchids are a) safe for cats and dogs, and b) fairly hardy. i live in an arid climate at 40° N and they do just fine. i’m a negligent monster, so they sometimes go literally weeks without being watered, and they’re all still in bloom right now. (i have three.)

bert/bertie could be robert but the first one that comes to mind for me  is bertrand, which frankly i like a little better

are you confident of that, esther? like, if you had died suddenly and this was hell, how surprised would you be on a scale of 0 being not and 10 being very?

or a prion disease

how’s this for a deal: i’ll turn my adblocker off on the site the very instant you ban autoplay of videos

i would go with ‘shame’, because even though she clearly lacks the capacity, it should be shameful and also, the rhyme

i don’t have a citation on hand but there was at least one study that found that the female relatives of gay men tended to have more children, on average, than women with no gay relatives. it’s likely that whatever genetic factors contribute to sexual identity also confer some degree of survival advantage.

i do relish the idea of rich people being perp walked out of beverly hills mansions, but there’s no fucking reason to draw weapons on felicity huffman. what, is she going to burst through the door in a kevlar bodysuit with an assault rifle and try to go down in a blaze of glory?

once again, conservative christian fundamentalists saying the quiet part loud

omg someone go check on jerry. someone needs to point out that this actually is ‘a star is born 4' and it should be him!

probably less so when the wizard shows up - he’s bad news

you can just do a photoshop of the groom’s safe, acceptable male nipples over the bride’s scary, dangerous female nipples and instagram away!

well damn. here go annie clark giving us a reason to like the mullet dress.

1. waffle house food truck, or
2. waffle automat

my favorite thing to date was the time i got on the l train for my morning commute and some wag had inflated a condom and tied it to the handrail. it hung there, bouncing merrily with the train, all the way into manhattan.

“peeked at pics in Pecker parlay”

i will not be at the sotu or your liveblog, but whatever deities you may or may not believe in bless you for enduring it

it’s a special kind of stupid to drop your edibles on the ground and leave them. every stoner i know looks after their shit like it was their child, whether it’s flower or gummies.