in all the times i’ve bought lottery tickets, i have never once checked the numbers the same day or even week they come out. as long as i have this ticket in my pocket i can imagine a life where i’m not chained to whatever toil my employer’s whim delivers me to on a given day, but as soon as i check it and none of the…

even if you believe this guy’s version of events:

i usually don’t have much patience for anything earlier than about the ‘60s or ‘70s (i know, i’m a philistine - but they took my gay card away like twelve years ago, so who cares) but casablanca entirely lived up to the hype. would 100% recommend.

our foxy brown has a lot of the normal dog fears - fireworks, thunder, having his teefs brushed, really any kind of hygiene - but the weird ones:

it me

lolol

everybody make way for Attorney General A Literal Burning Cross in an $8,000 Suit

I’m tempted to call it Disney-World-log-fume-ride chic, but, to be fair, it’s Chanel.

i’m in aurora. it’s a pretty mixed neighborhood racially. i don’t have nextdoor but my husband has an account (though not the app, i don’t think - i guess i don’t really know the logistics). there’s a fair amount of racism, and people are constantly making all sorts of wild claims about goings-on in nome park, but…

i see it as close, because really, he’s nominally not referring to leadership of america, but rather leadership by america on the world stage, and oh did you misunderstand my expression to refer to the swirling vortex of chaos and idiocy where the executive branch used to be? so it hits on the plausible deniability…

& much like the band on the titanic and the literal rest of us, they’re gonna die whether they play or not, so why not play

plus then these whiny manbabies couldn’t force their girlfriends to go endure it! win-win!

it me

with any luck, they’ll be making up for the catastrophic timing of comey’s emails announcement by parading the entire trump administration through the streets in handcuffs a week before the midterm elections

oh, my sweet summer child. he’s not shooting us in the foot - he’s shooting us in the gut. it’s going to take a long time to die, and it’s going to be very painful, and it may initially seem like maybe we can just staunch the flow of blood and recover, but no, here are all the various biles and acids and bacteria…

one does one’s best

And that’s not even counting the additional tweets congratulating himself on his “successful” trip abroad, which was successful only in the sense that the world’s NATO leaders resisted the urge to pin him down and smother him with a pillow.

no, currants, probably

😍