richie, doris and dom were the only people on this show i cared about.

right? like, what talent? woody allen married his own daughter after grooming her for years, but still most people only talk about his fuckin’ movies. if you were any good at your job, no one would care about you dating a child, apparently.

bobby, bless you for constantly referring to wiles by his actual name.

the thing is that for stodden, these photos are pretty demure. no decolletage, no backside in a thong... so i appreciated that this was an occasion where, if she really felt the need to comment, she at least realized she needed to rein it in.

a more scientific comparison (still not scientific at all, but you know) might be to look at the number of google hits for “zayn malik sex interview” compared to the number of hits for just “zayn malik”, and make a similar comparison for jonas. thus:

i have to wonder, though. sure, they don’t have gators in nebraska, but don’t they still have water moccasins?

see, when i boarded my dog once, they told me he had a fun time and played with other dogs and so on, but that’s so unlike him that i’m not sure i believe them. i feel like if he spent the whole time shivering in the corner, they wouldn’t want to admit that, would they? they’d just tell me what they think i want to…

...but, like, one of those classy af cocker spaniels that only eats wet food and is better behaved than most humans.

i kind of want this to go to scotus for a ruling. if it wins there, maybe we can put that human rights nightmare arpaio out of business for good.

well gosh, bury the lede why doncha! gwendolyn christie for everything!

i find myself wondering about the person who sold this guy that gun. sure, sure, it was all legal, blah blah blah. is that all they need to sleep at night? are they still selling these guns? did it cause them to do any kind of self-reflection, let alone soul-searching? how do you wake up the next day and then just go…

it foregrounds the gender disparity and throws into sharp relief the fact that if adele did actually have a dick, if nothing else was different about her but her genitals, she’d be clearly and obviously on the ‘good’ side of his list and he’d have to find some other woman to shit on.

here’s me imagining trying to persuade my dog to sit still with a napkin tied around his neck long enough to get even one single picture, and i just can’t see it happening. that’s professionalism for you.

why stop there? give ’em the full tim curry in rocky horror treatment!

that is a yawning dog. does jillian michaels even know what a yawn is? i submit that she does not.

giant asteroid 2016

admittedly, any one of those quotes has just a lot to sort through, and i know it’s right at the end of one, but i need to talk to someone about this alleged adult human using ‘architect’ as a verb.

i really, really hope gaga’s new album is great. i was so disappointed by artpop. i saw it coming after the alarmingly messianic bent of born this way, but even so, i was unprepared. sex dreams (plus however many exes she put in, who can remember) sounded for all the world like jenna maroney’s follow-up single to…

‘on the down lowe’s’? no, i suppose that’s not great.

i have not seen that but now i have to. i just love her comedic delivery and you don’t get to see that as much in a villain.