"Your throat will be impaled on a steering wheel, you'll probably snap your neck, and you'll definitely have a face full of glass pebbles"

He was hesitant to call the Indian tech support line he typically uses for computer problems, because he can rarely pronounce or spell their names. His fears were confirmed when Marc Rzepczynski answered his call.

oh but those shoes are so cute and fun. If you have that many 'close' friends to warrant that many groomsmen, maybe none of those friends are really that close?

Unfortunately, Gronk fractured a forearm while high-fiving the audience on his way in. He should return by late November.

My son's 9-10 rec league tried instituting the dropped 3rd strike rule this year. Our team struck out 7 times one inning. The rule was dropped soon after. Age 11-12 or higher is the only place that rule should be used.

Is it possible this pitch violated the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle? It seems as if the pitch was both a strike AND a ball based on its trajectory.

Scepter or 1/2 sized replica of Prince?

dammit I'm only 44 and my response to this video is 'what in the hell are they talking about?'

Her getting dumped is not nearly as frustrating as when she realized that no matter how hard she practiced, she'd never be as good as a wall (RIP Mitch Hedberg).

Bought AND paid for? wow... I thought maybe they were just purchased on layaway...

And I don't think you can recycle pizza boxes anyway, the grease screws up the process I believe.

"Sometimes in life, you face a struggle, and you either gotta sink or swim - I chose to swim when others did not"

Does Fat Joe realize he lives in America? I mean seriously, he's slimmed down to the point of not really being 'Fat' Joe anymore by our obese standards. I can guess he can always be Fat Joe in the ironic sense, kinda like the huge guy they call "Tiny".

His win total is equal to the number of Cubs fans who can spell his name correctly. And don't even ask them to spell his last name either!!

Meulens is doing his best impersonation of me every time one of my nine year old players swings at a 3-0 pitch at his eyes after having been given the 'take' sign emphatically.

No wonder George went 4-16 from the field last night. Oh, the head injury happened midway through the 4th quarter? nevermind.....

Sounds like Deadspin needs to start such a thread.

at about the :30 mark, he likes like an enormous giant playing baseball, if only someone could superimpose video of a tiny little crowd on the other side of the wall.

I don't think it's baseball fans per se. I think the difference here is location - LA just has a higher percentage of shitty people than most other places.

"I went to Penn State. I (got) paid $80 grand."